Stress during COVID

My wife and I are having problems, especially when it comes to the shared responsibility of our LO. We have a 650 square foot apartment. I work as a teacher from home throughout the so I need my space to be prepped for an online classroom environment. She still works outside of the home for 9hrs every night. The walls are closing in, he's teething, and we can't stop fighting with each other. My overall issue is that I'm a mess. I have no "escape". I have been stuck here since March and even when it's not my turn to watch him, I can still hear the screaming and crying and playtime... I can't get anything done. That's not to blame my son or wife, that's just a fact. However, my boundaries around me working are not really effective. I'm constantly interrupted, even with the door closed for all kinds of things.

Meanwhile, the apartment is a disaster. Nothing is ever put away, the kitchen is stacked with baby bottles and dishes with raw food stacked all over the place. The sink is full with the same. I try to keep up with it, but when I'm done working, I have to take care of our child alone and I can't make a dent in it. It's gotten to the point where I just don't eat because I think the kitchen is unsanitary. Also I don't have time to clean dishes just to make a meal because our apartment is too small. If I make any noise, he will wake up. I sleep barely three hours a night, I've broken my foot, I have two teeth break, I've gotten into trouble with work for falling behind. Every time I bring this up to my wife she gets sharply defensive and then "shuts down" and I get the silent treatment for a day or two.

I just can't talk to her. My needs and my health are in bad shape and I'm feeling I can't talk about it without getting attacked or shamed for it. She's going through a hard time too. No family or friends to help during coronavirus. She has no problem calling me out for anything and I address it. When I try to address something that is fundamental for me, it's mostly ignored or turned around on me.

I knew having a child during COVID would be stressful, but never anticipated the acutely felt distress I have every single day... and I feel I can never bring it up without being scrutinized for it.

If anyone has advise I would love to hear it. I'm suffocating and falling apart and will soon crash.