my son is 12w. born 4w early and spent first 3w in NICU. I had issues post delivery and nearly died 2x (first almost bled out after issues with my placenta not detaching and needing to be manually removed) and later when bp spiked to close to 200/100 and I needed emergency iv of meds. stayed in hospital for 6d. my husband was there in delivery room during the initial incident and stayed in hospital for 3d with me sleeping in chair before I made him go home tk shower and rest. I was also laid off from hospital bed on delivery date and am the only source of income in our family. my husband is an m.d. but wasn't able to get career launched here in the U.S. (he is foreign born and trained) he is super smart but doesn't have will to try something else and all is up to me and has been financially since we met. our plan had been for him to be primary caretaker after my maternity leave. we live in a studio (one room) apartment. the baby is very cholicly and wants breastfeeding nearly constantly. I try and take some breaks to shower, walk, errands, to go to doc, even doing laundry but if baby cries when I am gone my husband can't handle it if he cant assauge the baby. he gives up on trying to bottle feed and just sorta shuts down. he may cry too and said he feels useless but when I try and talk to him about it and help him bottle feed or show him what I do to help baby calm, he has no patience and has no confidence he can do it. I have suggested he seek therapy and that we could go together but he is not open to it (his father was a psychologist so I don't get why he rejects this) any suggestions?