Conceived my rape!

Hi, does anyone else have experience raising a child that was conceived by rape? My fiancé left me when the paternity test came out that my son wasn’t his even though he begged me to keep the pregnancy (knowing there was a chance that he wasn’t his)! I have a year old son and the last few months have been a horrible roller coaster. Any tips on how to handle things better?

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COMMENT (8)

J

Posted at
I want to cry because I have never met someone who has been through something like getting pregnant from an assault.. I was raped and became pregnant as well. I was in college, so I hadn’t had children prior. It was survival mode, therapy and EMDR helped in the long run. It’s been really hard To be 100% honest. but I know my son is a gift from God literally sent to save me (I was suicidal from the assault). You just do the best you can one day, one moment at a time. If you’re thinking of your options still, there is adoption, I met with potential adoption parents but ultimately felt it wasn’t right for me. I showed up for an abortion and broke down and went for ice cream with my friend who was taking me, because I couldn’t do it. Now his four year old little (big) self just ran in, blue eyed, messy blond hair, raspy voice “mommy aren’t you coming to play with me?” Oh do I NOT handle it well many days, there’s no “right” way to do it. I’m here if you need support, seriously. I’ve walked a similar road, the PTSD, the anxiety, the depression, etc it all hit me around 15 months pp and was horrible. But what a beautiful gift for such a horrible experience. Unconditional love of a child who will remind you you’re a survivor, a warrior, and worthy of love and life every single day.

Ce

CeCei • Feb 12, 2021
Thank you ! I feel like it’s getting a little easier lately! Yes, the behavior sometimes makes me wonder! I get asked that as well! I don’t have much support from family and friends! After everything came out, they disappeared on me! But we are taking it day by day!

J

J • Feb 4, 2021
I’m so glad you’re getting help and so sorry you’re going through this. Raising him so far has had its own set of challenges. Currently dealing with behavioral issues that I wonder if they are biological in part..and it’s always really hard when people ask about his dad. He has even asked about his dad. You just take things in stride as they come, plan what you can, and have grace for what you can’t. I’ve shelfed college a couple times since and have yet to finish. Yeah I’m always here, we need support and if you have family, friends, resources, etc, surround yourself with others who will support you when you are needing it.

Ce

CeCei • Feb 4, 2021
Thank you! I’m doing all of those things! My son is a year old now! I know one other person who this happened to. I’m also in college and it’s hard trying to finish! I’m literally in tears right now! Thank you for replying because I don’t have many to talk to about my unique situation

Ci

Posted at
My daughter was conceived by rape. My ex forced me and I got pregnant. I love my daughter more than anything and she saved my life. If I hadn’t gotten pregnant then I wouldn’t have left my abusive ex so I wouldn’t change anything. Yes it is hard sometimes but looking at her and having her with me makes it all better. I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through.

Ce

CeCei • Feb 12, 2021
I’m sorry for what happened to you as well!

Ce

CeCei • Feb 12, 2021
Thank you! It’s slowly getting better!

Ja

Posted at
If you can afford it, seek out a therapist. I start therapy for my sexual assault trauma and PTSD in November and I can say it'll be the best for not only me but for my 6 year old son as well. I cant imagine what you're going through. Find your peeps, get some good people to rally around you (whether you decide to have this baby or not). A good and solid support system goes a long way!