I think you’re best to let it go. He said he doesn’t want anymore. His mental health has already been an issue and he has told you another child would make that worse. Not having another child may be a difficult thing for you to come to terms with but if you have another child and your husband distances himself from you and your children, all of your children will suffer as well, including the new one you wanted to bring into the situation. Love on your boys and enjoy your life!

Honestly I would let it go he’s already expressed to you that he doesn’t want a third kid and he wants to get a vasectomy, he doesn’t want to chance it, another option is adoption or fostering, maybe getting a pet, or babysitting or nieces and nephews. Or even your neighbors kids or taking them in and loving them like they were your own. My niece in Florida I love her like she’s my daughter, she was in the high school that has a shooting in Florida, and I have definitely been reaching out to her since that happened and has been there for her because she felt like she couldn’t talk to anyone. I have nieces here in the same state and I have nieces in other states as well And I am the best aunt ever to them and godmother and etc. and they get presents every single holiday, and they love me every time I go over and visit. I don’t have kids myself, I’ve had two miscarriages, but I don’t think kids are in the cards for me but I don’t mind dating someone who comes with kids. The guy am currently with has two kids that are closer to college age. Which I don’t mind because for one he’s not using me as a babysitter to take care of his kids so he can go out and have fun like a lot of people I know are in that situation. And if you’re feeling lonely I think it may be the fact that maybe you’re not receiving the emotional or mental or physical support from your partner and maybe you’re looking to give your love elsewhere. You need to ask yourself why there is a hole in your heart or what’s not being fulfilled in your life. Maybe volunteering, before the pandemic I would after a background check at the hospital I would help the babies that were drug and alcohol babies and hold them while they detoxed, another thing you can do is visit the children in the hospital who are sick and need company, fostering a child, adoption, babysitting, I’m sure your neighbors or somebody nearby has kids who needs help and would appreciate the help or even starting a daycare, there has to be something that will fulfill your soul and fill that void that you’re feeling. Maybe you’re not feeling needed enough, maybe you’re not feeling accomplished or whatever it may be. But I think you just need to let the thought go because it sounds like he doesn’t want another kid. But maybe talk about other options. I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do, but at least you realize not to sabotage things with your partner some women do poke holes in condoms etc. and even sometimes vasectomy is if you don’t keep up with your appointments can not work and somehow miraculously tubes get tired again and pregnancies happen you never know. I dated a guy previous to my partner now and he had a vasectomy I still made him wear condoms because I didn’t want to chance anything. My current partner told me that he doesn’t want any kids he’s 57 And he doesn’t want to start all over again having a kid at 57 years old so we’ve already discussed that and I don’t want any kids and I’m very high risk and if they happen they happen if they don’t they don’t that’s fine either way. There’s no pressure there’s no necessity or that I feel I need because I’m the best aunt ever to every kid who I meet.