So me and my husband has been together 3 years almost 2 years married. When he was younger he had an addiction to porn but he stopped watching it and over came that addiction. We are both Christians and know it’s a sin to lust. Throughout our whole relationship he’s never watched porn. Nor want to (so he says). He’s the only person I have EVER trusted. Before him I was kinda a controlling girlfriend bc they were cheating on me and sneaking around and it almost made me go insane. Then when we got together we were both saved and I trusted him fully and completely let go. I didn’t stalk his phone and go through everything he’s done. I didn’t monitor who he was friends with because he did that himself. I didn’t freak out over him speaking to another girl or anything. Because I did do that with other relationships because they like I said were cheating and lying and sneaking around. As I said I completely trusted him and let go!

Tonight I was rocking our 10 month old daughter to sleep and he went to take a shower as usual. He usually poops right before he showers. Then gets in the shower and blow drys his hair and comes back into the living room. Well after I got our daughter to sleep I laid her in her bed and I noticed the shower had been running a really long time so I went and opened the bathroom door.

He was just standing there buck naked in the middle of the bathroom and I asked him what he was doing. He said I was pooping. I said “but you’re wet you been in the shower” he said “I got in and needed to poop so I got out” I knew that was a lie. I could tell. So I got quiet and I sat down on the toilet to actually poop

I noticed the water wasn’t on the floor next to the toilet and it didn’t stink in there like it would’ve if he pooped and I noticed the water was only in front of the sink. So I said “it doesn’t stink and the water isn’t next to the toilet and the toilet isn’t wet.. you were not pooping” he said “yes I was pooping” and I got quiet again bc I know when I am being lied too. Been lied to plenty. I said “you’re lying to me” he just stayed quiet..

He got out the shower and I said “what were you doing” he said “you’re right I didn’t poop” and wouldnt tell me for a few mins what he was doing then he finally admitted he was getting himself off.

In our house... we don’t and haven’t done that to ourselves. We don’t believe in that. We believe it’s adultly.. cheating..

He said he knew I didn’t feel good and that it’s was hard for him..

He said it was the only time he’s done that since we got together. He swears he wasn’t watching porn. Just messing with himself..

guys I’m hurt. I’m so hurt.. I feel completely betrayed and sickened. I don’t believe anything he says anymore. I have no clue what to do..