Stay at home moms ( working moms too)Does your significant other help with your child/children without asking? I.e. playing, feeding, bathing, diapers, reading

Question

I’m grateful my man works so I can be home with my son but it would be nice if he was involved without me asking for him. It’s his child too. He just sits and watches tv evenings and weekends.

Answer

Sometimes men need direction. They don’t know what to do like we do.

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Absolutely.  His job is only 40 hours a week, raising a child and managing a household is 168 hours a week.  Seems kind of unfair if one only has to work 40 while the other is fully responsible for things over 4 times that amount of time.

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Parenthood is a partnership and he should absolutely be helping with his own child. You both made that baby, you both should share in the responsibilities regardless if you’re a SAHM or not. Of course being a SAHM you’ll probably do a little more than him but he should definitely be pitching in on the weekends and evenings. I’d be having a pretty serious talk with him. Life is different with a baby/kids, my husband and I don’t get hours on end of playing video games or watching tv. When our baby goes to bed we get a break and use that time to do whatever we want but he absolutely puts his fair share of work in to parenting

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I’m a SAHM,  my husband works and farms. He is an incredibly hands on dad.
He make dinner most nights (he loves to cook), will take our son on adventures, plays with him, baths him or just does what ever. He is pumped when he gets home to spend time with our little man. We have a second baby coming end of June and I can’t wait to see him with both our babies. 
Dads are parents too. I never understand dads who are hands off. As my husband says he gets to work all day, with adults and it’s less stressful than being home with an emotional little person all day 😂😂 
Our son is almost 3 and I’m thankful every day my husband is such a kick ass, hands on dad 🥰

Answer

Donny get me wrong. My husband is an amazing Dad. He just doesn’t see things like I do. It’s frustrating a lot of the time because I just don’t understand it, but I try to be patient.
He will literally do ANYTHING I ask. But I do have to ask, even for the most basic things.
At the moment, we have a 3 yo and a 1 1/2 yo and I’m 12+ weeks with hyperemesis gravidarum and almost no local support (we have friends, most of whom just cannot help because of their own lives, but our closest relatives are 4 hours away and they’re not CLOSE relatives. Most of his are states away and mine are on the opposite coast). We’re working together to keep my time at the doc and in the hospital to a minimum mostly because we just don’t have the support to cope with that kind of thing (SAHM here, he works 5-6 days a week, 10-15 hour days). So it’s a little different. Right now, I don’t have to ask him to pick up toys or do dishes at the end of the day because he knows I am “off,” as much as possible with one who still nurses before bed (and a couple other times during the day), when he gets home. Any dishes or toys left are on him. He still asks when they need to be in bed every night. And he’s been on bath duty for about 6 months (if he’s home) because it aggravates my back problems. But anything beyond that, I have to ask. Gather the laundry that’s in baskets and three random piles all over the house and wash it? Have to ask. Take a poppy diaper to the trash can (inside the house)? Have to ask. Take out the overflowing trash? Better ask. Vacuum the food from under the kids’ chairs so they don’t eat food 3 days old while I’m making breakfast the next day? Have to ask.
Imm not down on him. He’s wonderful and really wants to help. He just doesn’t see it and he’s tired when he gets home. And he’s just used to me doing it because he does work all those long days. It’s an adjustment for everyone.

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Yes. My husband stays home during the week with her and I stay with her on weekends. We both ask each other to help with things but also both take the initiative to do things. He actually does more than I do because he works less and works very close to our house whereas I have about an hour commute

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Ano my husband doesn’t do ANYTHING he works so he doesn’t “have anymore responsibilities “ after he clocks out it’s his time! I hate it he works 2 Nd shift 4pm - 3 am so his sleep schedule is 5 am to 2 pm Monday through Friday and on weekends he keeps his same routine. We have a 3 month old baby and he will talk to her but will not hold her or rock her and he will not change her. He has no interest in anything but playing video games. O try to explain to him that sometimes I just need a break or some extra sleep but I have to wake up at 10 everyday to clean sweep mop dust and make him breakfast by 2 pm when he wakes up and all of this with my daughter on my hip ( she is kinda spoiled lol) then I have to set out his clothes while he showers, make his lunch while he gets dressed. Then my daughter and I have to watch him play his video games until he goes to work! Thank God she naps around this time then I send hi off to work and I finish cleaning so laundry sweep and mop and the rest of the day I spend tending to my baby and our dog walks bath and playing dog has to be bathed every day or he gets heat rash from the dirt! Then I get to relax for a few hours while the baby is sleeping I have to get up and make his dinner around 2 am and wait on him to get home. Once he does he comes in wakes up the baby and we have to watch him play video games until 5 and it starts all over!

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Yes - my husband does it all. So hard working... does almost everything around our house (besides cooking😅) & just as much as me with the babies.

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We have a routine where my husband comes home from work and after dinner I clean up and while I do that he bathes the kids and plays with them. We both participate in the bedtime routine. On the weekends we split responsibility. My feeling is even as a SAHM you've taken care of everything while he was at work that is your job but when he gets home you both should split responsibilities.

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99% of the time if I want my husband to do something I either ask him or leave a list. 
I feel like I have a list in my mind I'm constantly checking it and since he's not a mind reader I have to communicate with him. 
Sometimes he'll suprise me, like on Monday I took our daughter to the park and when I came home I found he'd vacuumed and mopped which was a nice surprise.

Stay at home moms ( working moms too)Does your significant other help with your child/children without asking? I.e. playing, feeding, bathing, diapers, reading

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