Always family drama: short story - my husband final stood up to his mother about me (his wife) We haven’t talk to them in almost a year my question is - do your kids have a relationship with their grandparent?

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My kids have a relationship with my husband’s parents and with my father. I stopped speaking to my mom several years ago, so they no longer have a relationship with her. She does send cards and gifts, which I allow. They send thank you cards because it’s good manners.

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It’s taken years but we finally have a tiny relationship with my in laws. My MIL tried to stop our wedding, threatened us, said we stole silver at my bridal shower and accused my entire family (the only true people helping us with our wedding), made up a ton of lies, and just made our lives hell. When I was pregnant she called me fat twice and the final straw was her saying that IN CHURCH & in front of our nephew/god son!!! My husband had fuckin had it! The next day when we took her out for mother’s day for high tea that was preplanned ($300 for the entire family event, she acted like a total bitch) and after that my husband and I lit into her ass. We were not polite anymore and made sure her husband knew how much of a pain in the ass she was being. Of course she played the victim - oh we never see you (we saw them every 2 weeks), you never do anything for us (we did for years helping around their house without a single thanks), etc. She embarrassed me and my mother at my baby shower in front of my husbands friends mother’s (they apologized to my mom for my MILs behavior). Needless to say when we had o to come to Jesus we told them some of what was going on and I said “if you dare tell either of us what to do, I’ll make sure the door doesn’t hit your ass on the way out! No one tells us how to parent!”  
So they both got the memo. We played nice for 3 years together while she tried to rip us apart. Now we’re cordial, but she knows I’m not nor hubby going to take her shit. I’ll throw her ass out in a heartbeat! No shame in that.

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My MIL is the definition of a Just No.
Heres just a handful of things she's done but theres so many more I could write whole essays on it 😂
- Before we had our daughter, she would cause problems with my adopted son. Pointing out he isn't biologically mine (which she would tell him often). I let her babysit him once and she told him that he didn't have to listen to me and that me and my partner aren't "ready" to be parents to him. yknow even though he had been my son for 3 years and my partner involved for almost 2 years at the time.
- When we went to SILs house to announce our pregnancy. MIL, SIL and MIL's husband all told me that the reason my son was acting up* was because I wasn't his real Mum. I argued with them and for a bit so did partner until eventually he just agreed with MIL because it "was easier". I'm sure you can imagine the rift that had within our household.
*Son had undiagnosed mental illness 🙃 which is also apparently my fault for not birthing him.
-Continuously talk down my partner to me. Says she disowned him at 16 (he moved in with his dad) and shes glad she did because he was a failure. Somehow partner still worshiped the very ground she walked on.
- Harassing us constantly to know baby's gender and huffing when we wouldn't tell her. Even when we explained we didn't know and were waiting til birth. She "needed" to know so she could knit baby stuff. Apparently knitting white stuff is not an option.
- The usual "I know best" attitude when my daughter was born. Whining about wanting to babysit from birth even though daughter was fully breastfed and I didn't want to be away from her. Complaining that we "dont let her buy things for the baby" (we had bought her crib, travel system etc before she was born, we didn't need more! Clothes she bought were all too big and didnt yet fit but she wore them when they did)
- Her first reaction when we called her to say we gave birth to a girl and her name, was to ask why she had partners last name and not HER last name. Erm probs because I'm not married to her husband?
- Eventually when my daughter was 4 months, MIL and SILs started yet another argument about my son not being my son. Causing MILs husband to threaten partner. Apparently this wasn't a good enough reason for us to not to let daughter be around MIL's husband. Also SIL regularly send abusive messages to me insulting me about all kinds of things... but MIL says that's ok because "she only gave as good as she got" (I didnt even insult her 🙃 I mostly just ignored her until she tried to justify her attitude because she was abused growing up. I was abused growing up and I'm not a colossal douche) 
- Didn't bother buying daughter anything for her first christmas. But that's fine. What's annoying is she eventually said we could have the carseat she bought recently. After months of trying to arrange to see her (nothing to do with the carseat, but she said she would drop it off when she saw us) partner text her just saying he will pick up the carseat from her house and she told us we "only bother with her when we want something". Bare in mind my point earlier about her "not being allowed to buy anything for the baby". Make your damn mind up. Also we had never asked for anything from her ever. Didn't even complain when she bought us hand sanitizer and tissues for christmas (this was years before covid)
- when we finally tried seeing her again (in public) some time after daughters 1st birthday, she would say "is this okay? Am I allowed to do this?" condescendingly any time she interacted with daughter. But then also constantly invade daughters personal space and make her cry
- Text me asking if SIL could come visit daughter. I said I wasnt comfortable with it. She then waited until I went to the bathroom on one of our visits to ask partner the same question. His reasoning is "She probably just forgot she had already asked and just happened to remember when you went to the bathroom". Hahaha ok 🙃
- Just before christmas she suffered a blood clot to the lung. Claimed she was dying and needed to see daughter NOW. Partner had already been in therapy for a bit kinda starting to see how manipulative his mum is and finally the whole situation (which turned out to be complete bogus, wasnt dying at all. They had given her meds and sent her on her way) made us go no contact with her. Some of her last words were "Fine. Just blame me if you have to" before we both blocked her number, facebook and whatsapp.
She never apologised for any of her bad behaviour ever and never wanted to learn from it. Whenever I made it clear her comments were rude, I was instantly made out to be the bad guy and her the victim etc. It eventually came to light that she tried to kill partner when he was a baby by smothering him with a pillow and that partners epilepsy diagnosis and his sisters cancer diagnosis were both completely made up.
But yeah. FIL and his wife are okay but we dont see him that often. My mum and step mum have both passed away but I try to see my Dad when I can but with covid it's been difficult as he lives a 2 hour drive away.

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i also beef with my husband’s mom.. i wont stop her from seeing the baby but only short visits while i am present.

Always family drama: short story - my husband final stood up to his mother about me (his wife) We haven’t talk to them in almost a year my question is - do your kids have a relationship with their grandparent?

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