My mother-in-law watches my 8 month old 2 days a week. My husband and I have been concerned about her lack of social distancing and lax attitude with COVID. We live in CT, which is very close to NYC, and the numbers have been very high.

There was one particular scare a couple of months ago, and she luckily came back negative. After that, my husband and I begged her to take it more seriously for the sake of our son. We had stern talkings with her and make her wear a mask with him. My mother is passed on and the only other capable adults all work full time, so our childcare resources are limited. My father-in-law promised to watch my son, but once my son was born he backed out stating he was, “uncomfortable.”

My father-in-law decided to have a drink with a friend last week. That same friend notified him that he is COVID positive. Both my MIL and FIL now have tested pos for COVID. My son, who was with them just last Thursday has luckily tested per the CDC guidelines recommended time frame and with a PCR; negative. My husband and I had minimal exposure to his parents and are waiting for our results. Our rapid tests were negative. My husband has gotten his first Covid vaccine since he’s in law enforcement, so he’s partially covered. My son is a miracle baby. I went through 3 miscarriages, and I felt like a broken record asking my in-laws to stop socializing and having parties. They put my child’s life at risk, my job (had to take time off), my husband’s job, and our lives. I understand it is my job to ensure that I am choosing the right caregiver, but she assured me that she would do everything possible to protect him, and she failed me. I am upset. It was unintentional, but avoidable and inexcusable. Any advice on how to look past this? I’ve been blaming myself. I am literally destroying myself by going over and over what could’ve happened and how I put my son I danger by trusting her. She lied to me and told me she wasn’t going out, but all along she had been.

I told my MIL that if she wanted to continue living her life that I would understand, but that she could not watch my son. She assured me that she would be responsible, but that was unfortunately short-lived.