Postpartum depression

Im 5 months postpartum and I’m really struggling lately with my depression and anxiety. Ive lost all ambition to do anything, I don’t eat, I don’t take care of myself, I don’t even do basic chores anymore. I’m sad and angry all the time, I feel like I’m losing touch with my significant other and I feel so alone. I need to find a job and I have a panic attack every single time I try to apply to jobs because I’m horrified of leaving my son with anyone, I had been an at home nanny for a year and a half before i had my son, so I haven’t been to a “real” job in almost 2 years. I’m not lazy, I want to work, I want to be a better mom for my son and I want to give him the best life possible, but I feel like my anxiety and depression are preventing me from being able to do that. I feel like I ignore my problems to avoid them, I’ve considered getting help and seeing a therapist but my anxiety is just too bad to even make that first step. I feel so stuck and so alone and i feel like I have no way out. I don’t know what to do anymore.