I’m scared

I just filed a TPO against my husband. I’ve been with him 4 years and it’s been only verbal, physical, financial abuse . I’ve left and gone back several times. I’ve lost everything since being with him . I have two boys with him that are 1 and 2. Recently he opened a sales office and I was the only salesperson to start. But I’m really good at it. I made $6,000 in deposits the first week which is great cause it is slow right now . So even with all of our fighting I would still go to work. Except today I did not. He told me he would call the cops on me if I did. Yesterday we got into an argument and he ran into my Office From his office and swung a hammer at me and told me he was going to murder me. Lately every time we argue he says he will murder me. So long story short. He feels justified for doing that and says if I didn’t talk to him the way I did he wouldn’t do it. He takes zero accountability for anything . Now, even though he told me I wasn’t allowed in the office today he later said this evening that I could have worked from home. He is crazy with his rule changing. He told me he wants a divorce and that I’m a stupid bitch and nothing is good with me etc. he has a case in CA for beating his ex and leaving her at a hotel. I didn’t find this out till way later . So no judgment please 🤦‍♀️ I finally decided to take my power back and file the TPO . Now that I did it I have instant guilt and shame. Blah please send encouragement .