Just need to vent and need some advice. I've been with my husband for 14 years. Married for 4 years. I'm only 28 so we've been together since we were 14 years old. He's the only serious boyfriend I've ever had (obviously, since I was 14 when we met). We had our ups and downs and broke up and got back together a lot in high school but only ever for a few days.

He treated me like shit in high school. He'd ditch me for his friends to get high. Ignore my phone calls. Basic immature boy crap. But I loved him so I stuck with him. He dropped out of high school and I went on to graduate with honors and also went to college. He went to college only because I "forced" him to and he ultimately dropped out. He didn't pay his student loans and they went into default. (His Dad wasn't in the picture and his Mom worked over nights so he never had anyone to supervise or discipline him and make sure he went to school. He moved in with me and my Mom when we were 15 and I was the only one making sure he went to school).

I bought our first house at 22 years old. By myself. He couldn't be on it because he has student loans in default. He would sleep all day and worked nights so we never saw each other which almost ruined our relationship. He ended up getting fired from that job and went into construction.

We sold that house and bought a bigger house so we could have a family. Again, he couldn't be on the loan so it's just me once again. I put myself through college and got a good paying job so I've always been the bread winner. Whatever. It doesn't bother me.

We ended up getting pregnant a month after we moved into our new house. He promised me he would quit smoking weed when I got pregnant. He quit for a week and then started again. He promised me after our son was born He'd quit. Well, surprise, he didn't.

He ended up quitting his job this year (a union job making really good benefits and health insurance for all of us) and wanted to start his own handyman business. I supported him because he was extremely depressed at his union job and he's very handy, but he's lazy. I tried helping him with the business as much as I could but he does NOT have the initiative and motivation to be his own boss, so of course it failed. And he ended up spending all our savings and racking up our credit cards.

I've tried tough love. I've tried taking his debit card away and giving him an allowance. I've tried it all and I'm really sick of him spending all our money on weed. He says he wants to quit but he does the same shit different day. I'm growing VERY resentful of him and just tired . I've told him I'm about to my breaking point.

He wants to do counceling but he never takes the initiative to actually do it. I'm just really sick of being his Mom. I used to have patience for it, but now that we have our son I'm not interested in raising two children alone. But I love him, and I love the life we've built. And he IS a good Dad. He just has a problem with weed. (He uses it to self medicate. He did get on anxiety meds but still uses weed as a crutch). We both grew up poor and come from broken families and giving our son the life we never had has been our dream. I don't want to lose it all.

Thanks for reading. I just feel stuck and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick of the empty promises, and sick og being the responsible one. I know deep down the only way he'll change is if I leave. He knows he can get away with the things he does. But, I've been with him for SO long I don't know how to live without him. It scares me thinking of him not being there. And I don't want our son to grow up in a broken home like we did. 💔