Ughh rant

I just had another miscarriage at 13.4 on Feb 25 have birth to my sweet baby boy may he rest in peace 🕊️💔😢 I'm ready to start to ttc but I am not emotionally ready for another loss. I had a previous loss at 9w in Sept 1💔😢 it was terrible I was so excited to get pregnant and before that I had my sweet baby girl who is 16 months I want her to have a sibling 💔😢 before I had her I had my first miscarriage at 11.4w but the baby stopped growing at 6w but my body didn't let go of the pregnancy till 11.4w. These losses are taking a toll of me I don't understand why my body is failing me 💔😢 I'm emotionally drained but I want another child so bad. I'm still healing but I don't know if I could go through another miscarriage getting my hopes up it's the worst pain. Please tell me I'm not the only one 💔😢 I would love to speak to people who been through the same as me😢