Boyfriends Mom being standoffish?

Question

So I think this is odd but who knows, 
I’ve been with my boyfriend since September (22 and 23 years old), we both live with our parents currently. So he’s met my parents and siblings and all and it was normal like he comes over often, we get along. Anyway - he explains that while he does want me to meet his mom, he said she’s a bit weary of having others in the house because of COVID. At first I was totally 110% on board, I agreed and understood completely. Then I find out she has a boyfriend out in another state - like a 12 hour ride away not a hop over the boarder. The boyfriend stayed a month or so at her house and then she stayed a month by him in his home state.
My first assumption is: oh great! Since she’s open to having people from out of state in her home - Maybe she is warming up so I’ll finally be able to meet her! 
Wrong. Apparently - the boyfriend from another state can come and go, just as she can with no COVID fears there? 
I get that it’s her house but like what if we just met at a restaurant? Coffee? Is it odd that I would like to say hello to my boyfriend of 6 months’ mother? I’ve met his siblings and friends, but there’s something not clicking with meeting mom. anyone have advice or experience with a perhaps avoidant mother of
The BF?

Accepted Answer

I would absolutely be fine with seeing my own actual boyfriend and not my sons gf of 5 minutes but 🤷‍♀️

Answer

I have been very cautious with COVID and would probably be willing to first see my own boyfriend- knowing what he does and who he has been around. Not only does she not know you, but she has no idea how many people you’ve been around and exposed to. Why don’t you just chat with her over FaceTime?

Answer

I mean ehh, it's only been 6 months, so its kind of early to meet parents but I guess it is weird that she's okay with seeing her boyfriend that doesn't live with her. Who knows, maybe they both quarantined beforehand

Answer

You’re young eventually you will not want to meet the mother. Take it as a win 😂

Answer

Some mothers get jealous when their son starts dating. 🤷‍♀️ .

Answer

This doesn’t seem weird considering we’re in a pandemic... who knows what precautions her & her boyfriend set in place, plus I get he would be a higher priority. I think your suggestion of going out to a restaurant or coffee seems very dismissive of the situation, as someone who is being Covid cautious there is no way I would meet someone in a public place to eat or drink (ie no mask). 
Maybe she would be comfortable with an outdoor with mask meeting?

Answer

You dont know if the bf took measures before traveling like quarantining and getting hiself tested though do you?

Answer

I think it’s a little sad that she doesn’t seem to have much interest in meeting you. My only assumption is that to her, yours and her son’s relationship isn’t that serious only 6 months in and she doesn’t feel an urgency to meet you and that’s sucks for you because you’d like to meet her. 
And I don’t think her excuse is valid. I mean putting aside her own boyfriend visiting - for all we know, maybe he had a covid test before he traveled. It’s irrelevant either way really - like you said - it’s her home after all - but it’s weird that she’d say she’s worried about covid and yet she "allows" her son to go to your house and hangout all the time and then come back home - if you had covid, he’d probably have caught it and passed it to his mom anyway? So yeah - unfortunately I just don’t think she really cares to meet you and I think that’s more of an insult to her own son, than it is to you honestly - I have a son (he’s only 2 but still lol) and if he mentioned a girl friend to me I’d be DYING to meet her 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

None of this seems off to me. It just sounds like she’s not as excited or concerned about meeting you as you are her. And it’s kind of silly if you to expect to be treated the same as someone who is special in her life. Eventually you’ll meet her.

Answer

The poll results match the probable reason. It is Covid and her bf —she may be willing to meet ....but you are new- no offense, just enjoy time with ur bf and as the relationship develops - you will become more involved in the family but this is a little too quick IMO

Boyfriends Mom being standoffish?

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