I need advice

Me and my ex boyfriend have been going through a rough patch. He fell out of love with me but after talking we decided that we should give it a another try. But then the attention I was getting just started to stop and I had to show up at his house to get any sort of attention. I found he was talking to another woman and so I dumped him but I did something stupid. I begged to get back together because I missed him and loved him a lot. (We also cleared up the misunderstand that I thought was cheating. He felt like I was distancing myself and wasn’t giving my all. That I might be seeing someone on the side🙄 so he went somewhere else to get some conversation.. no nudes or meet ups happened)

Anyways we celebrated his birthday and that was a whole other can of beans. I didn’t have fun. And I felt like since I bought you presents and drove all the way to you that he should have been happy but he wasn’t because he couldn’t drink with his friends. ( they told him that they were going to bed earlier for work and that they should drink another time) He went from cheerful to heartbroken. Anyways his birthday sucked. My birthday was a few days away and I wanted to spend it with him so much but as I was showering I began to realize the reason I can’t get his attention and why he wasn’t happy with just spending time with me was I was holding on to something that had run it’s course. He didn’t want me and I have literally just been dragging him along to make him love me. So two hours before my birthday(I was planning to spend the night with him ) I left. I packed all my things, took back the watch I gave (bc he didn’t wear it anymore. And he would use it as an excuse for me to drive up there to get it) I gave him a kiss as he slept. So my question is do you think I did the right thing? Was I a coward to leave while he was asleep instead of waking him and talking about it?

It hurts so much not to be by his side and every time we broke up I went back and thought I made things right. I would always break the ice after a day or two. But I’m at the point where he needs to show me he wants me or not so I can do my little pity party and find someone who does. (See I’m so confused and conflicted and all over the place) I wrote this post so I wouldn’t text him asking these questions. Help me. Please.