Boyfriend living double life

So I know it’s my fault as well for putting myself in this situation...but I really thought he changed. we have known one another for ten years and reconnected about three years ago. we hung out from time to time whenever so fast forward to last year. I knew he was out being a hoe so in January I cut it off real quick. Then summer we started seeing one another again..he said we were working on trust etc so I took his word for it he would tell me there weren’t others etc etc. I had an std scare the week or thanksgiving and FaceTimed and told him I had to get tested etc he swore up and down he hasn’t slept with anyone recently and reassured me we would be fine. The test came back negative, thank the lord! So we spend thanksgiving together which was a little rough then the next day he goes to the chiropractor ends up I take him to the er. While in the er my mind just gets to thinking when is the last tine he had sex with someone else. Fast forward to the morning I ask and he tells me a month before just a ducking month when he’s been telling me for months he quit the shit etc. so my dumb ass is told he stopped mid sex because he wanted to be with me. So we choose a relationship that day. I know I allowed it and I only have myself to blame..but please be nice. So the first two months such in the honeymoon stage I was able to block out what he has done of course because we finally got our shot. Then last month came and it all stattted to hit me. I think that’s when emotionally I broke up with him. I couldn’t show up. I wasn’t myself. I was lovey but not as much as I squally was. I started getting bad intuitions, he told me if I believe them they will come true. Well long story short I had enough and we broke up Friday. Of course he told me, I was toxic I sabotaged us etc. it’s like no, I finally felt all you have put me through I’ve been needing you to communicate with me more then the maybe one or two texts every 24 hours. I had to schedule phone calls with him. It was insane. He basically fed me all I wanted to hear so he never lost me. I started to catch on and he noticed and was like fuck. I know what I deserve and I didn’t deserve always having to wonder when I would her from him next, feeling single because my boyfriend didn’t talk to me unless we were together. It was insane. I feel happy but just need some tips for when I’m super sad.