Tale of 2 men

I will try to make this as short as possible but this is quite a long story. He's married, I'm married we had a threesome with my husband. His wife don't know.

This started in July of 2020, I wanted a threesome my husband wanted to please me he asked his best friend let's call him John. He agreed almost immediately his wife wasn't into things like that.

We tried multiple times but wasn't ever successful my husband at this time had said that we could go solo for as long as we wanted to as long as we were honest, and didn't develop feelings for each other. No big deal it was just a sex thing. (He wasn't getting it from his wife and my husband had a bad drug problem that prevented us from being intimate)

We finally had our very successful threesome in September and my husband said we could continue with our arraignment we just had to be honest not delete texts or what not. Which was fine with the both of us because this was just a sex thing for us.

In October I found out my husband had been smoking crack and I end up kicking him out of our house only after he got physical with me in front of our 4 children. I told him in order for you to come back he needed to go to rehab and take some anger management.

Now at this point he asked me and John to quit and we did, minus 2 times that month when I gave him a bj and we had sex now I took plan b after this time cause it was the first time he busted in me. We were careless yes, but I needed to be pleased.

Me and John just talk at this point I needed a friend and he was there. He also tried to be there for his friend but my husband didn't want anything but his drugs. At this point I find out I'm pregnant it's early November.

My husband still hasn't checked himself into rehab and he's still spending 1000 plus every two weeks on crack and coke. I'm at a loss and don't know what to do.

Flash forward to December we get stimulus money and we end up splitting it he spends his all on drugs I'm taking care of our 4 kids. At this point he's not being serious about getting clean so I ask John if he wants to hook up again is it wrong absolutely but I needed someone who I trusted not to give me something he agreed almost immediately. (There is a slight chance that this baby could be his)

February my husband finds out that me and John are sleeping together and I tell him that we are separated he can't get mad he made his choice by not going to rehab and continuing to choose drugs over mending his family he thinks I am wrong.

It's March my ex still hasn't went to rehab or even showed that he cares enough to go to rehab he blew his money once again while I'm saving trying to build my family without him in the picture. At the end of the day we were both wrong, (he's cheated and I've forgiving him) he hates me says it's all my fault (his drug problem). Am I right to feel there is nothing left to save and we should just try to be the best we can for our kids.

And he swears up and down me and John have feelings for each other cause we continued on sleeping together what's your opinion. I know it's a lot but thanks for sticking with me.

Edit to add. John's wife knows now she's known for awhile, we used protection we used spermicide and condoms one time we didn't use protection, used just spermicide and I took plan b cause he prematurely busted in me instead of pulling out.

*Heartbroken drug addicts ex wife.