Holding on to hope

Hi there, my fist post! I'm 43, turning 44 in June. I've been TTC for almost 9 years now, I was never a day late so never took a pregnancy test.

My husband always said that our child is welcome if it happened but that he never wanted to have a hospital procedure to TTC. He is happy and accepting either way. Whether we get pregnant or not.

I noticed that over de last few years my frustration and anger grew and I do want to go to the hospital to see if we can get help. Since he didn't want to, but his refusal is also a life choice for me, I decided to go for it with or without him.

Long story short, I am in a hospital procedure with donor seed. My husband is sweet and supportive and will love the child as his own, but he stood by his principles. He is not participating in the procedures himself. We both are okay with it.

We just decided to temporarily walk different paths but still hold each other's hand. ❤️

I have 3 failed IUI treatments and unfortunately this month I didn't produce an egg. In my country there is an age limit and doctors will only treat me until my birthday.

I can't do IVF in my country because of my age and all the procedures so far were mighty expensive.

Anyone in this group here who also needs to pay for the treatments themselves because of legislation?

I just got back from another ultrasound and I didn't form any eggs this month.

Part of me feels robbed of one of the last 3 treatments I can have, part of me tells me that I just have a short break to be nice to myself and that the next one will be it and all will be forgotten.

Reading all of your messages though gives me so much hope! Sometimes I feel so alone since all my friends have their kids already and they are growing up fast, while I am still the only one longing for it.

Reading your posts really helps! I love this TCC in your 40s group!

So ladies, thank you for sharing your stories, the good and positive ones to share hope and the painful ones, since it isn't always a walk in the park. 🙏❤️

Much luck, love and fertility to you all! May all our dreams come true!