Porn porn and more porn

This is more than a VENT post than advice but y’all can comment if you want I’m open and is actually like to hear back

So since me and my boyfriend have been dating porn had slowly but surely become a factor .When we first started dating he didn’t watch it really and we used to have sex all the time

Here we are almost a year and some change going on 2 years and it’s part of his morning routine.let me just say this the first time I seen it I was a lil hurt because I knew something was off with us

.I’ve grown to kinda let it go by telling myself everyone does it ,hell me too but I only watch it if it get to the point where I’m not satisfied or he isn’t home and I’m in the mood or to get me hyped up before he gets home

Whenever he is watching porn a lot we usually have a lot of tension between us because his behavior changes he starts being mean and distant , he starts being a real dick and when he stops touching me then I know oh here we go again .

Lately I’ve been livid because it’s now apart of his morning routine.he gets up in the morning doesn’t roll over ,no kiss no GoodMorning hell not even a let me make sure she is sleep lol and sits on the bathroom for damn near 30-hr watching videos on videos then comes trying to hug up on me (with nothing to give ) I’ve already told him like don’t come in here trying to hug in me after being in the bathroom that long because if you got time for that you got time for me .I don’t want that weak ass guilt hug he be trying to give out when he comes back like no , and then later if I’m in the mood it’s either a soft curve or I have to wait and then it’s days I have to wait sometimes but it don’t be days that he miss doing the same thing every morning

He tried that weak ass post porn hug again this morning and I told him to move because he knows I don’t like being second like even if you are gonna go watch porn at least consider and acknowledge that I’m here in the same bed laying next to you and greet me .give me a lil kiss before disappearing .he just jumps straight out of bed grabs his phone and to the bathroom he goes he told me beggars can’t be choosers,I just left it at that ,yeah okay you right and ain’t say nothing else about it cause I will take it there ,he knows though when I don’t say much that says a lot so he better remember that!!

Sn: another thing that gets me heated af is the fact that lately the sex has been good but not as good as it’s always been. He doesn’t pay attention to what he is doing like he used to like the foreplay is real short lived so now I have to be more aggressive and direct movement and it’s a TURN OFF because he be so focused on what he tryna do I just be like damn man get it together and since you know porn has been a factor him getting off with me has been a hit or a miss. Some times he cums sometimes he doesn’t then wanna talk about how he wish he didntlast long but he don’t . He usually fold like lawn chair and I see the patterns so I know it’s the porn

Sorry if I sound selfish y’all ,I really just can’t believe his punk ass told me beggars can’t be choosers..we have had this conversation more than 3 times within the last week ,last week he told me oh it’s morning wood and he be having to take care of it I’m like okay then why don’t you come to me I didn’t get a answer but it’s like you gon watch porn anyway and even if I don’t I would still appreciate it if you gave me that weak ass guilt hug before you go and do what it is you do ,but no he gives me that lil 5 Second baby hug then goes on about the rest of his early morning routine which involves smoking and the video game then he leaves.

We also have this conversation about me being up when he is up often as well.he is always complaint about me being awake when he is like I choose when to wake up I’m also a really light sleeper borederline restless so when he is up and moving it wakes me up even when I don’t want it to and I’m never actually sleep like whenever I’m going over the edge into the deep sleep he up moving and making noise and I’m a night owl like I’m just always up y’all Fr half the time I be up before him

😂 I’m sick af .I’m leaving Sunday for a girls trip .I didn’t wanna leave but I think we need some space and maybe if he has a chance to miss me he will be a lil more attentive

I hope I don’t sound crazy but comment away i would like to hear some views

**Sorry for any typos ,blessed was the day god created context clues **

NEXT DAY UPDATE :last night we talked and his take away was that I just wanted more attention . This morning I woke up and I’m almost positive he was watching porn in the bed next to me, I only got a glimpse of the phone .he been in the bathroom for like 15 minutes now so I’m going to ask what he was doing and why he jumped so hard when he comes back . I haven’t told him I was leaving so I’ll handle that today .