Single mom of 2 and pregnant with #3

This is so embarrassing and infuriating...

I’m 33 I’ll be 34 by the time I have this baby. I’m currently 5 weeks pregnant by my friend with benefits. I was trying to have a good time had a few too many I was drunk and he was sober. I got pregnant but he doesn’t want the baby and says he has no plans to be present in the babies life or help out financially.

I have two kids already that I’m the sole provider for. My oldest just turned 14 I had her when I was 19. It was a very troubled time in my life but having her saved my life and I wouldn’t change it for the world. My second child just turned 4 his dad isn’t involved either. Are dated for a year I got pregnant he told me he didn’t love me and had gotten married!! (Yes married👀) he wanted me to abort but I’m just so morally opposed to it so of course I didn’t.

So here we are today this babies father doesn’t want to help I’m freaking out. I can’t believe I could allow myself to be in such a huge predicament with such serious consequences. I know I’m dumb for this but I don’t know what to do.

I feel like another baby would be absolutely adored and loved. However I’ve suffered with post partum after my last two children and it’s very hard to raise a baby alone. I do struggle financially but I make things work. I’m about to finish school in July and I’ll be a full tech licensed to do nails, licensed esthetician, lash certified and have my tattoo license for micro pigmentation. So there’ll be opportunity to make great money between July and late December when I’m due.

I don’t know what will be best for me and my children though and am considering abortion...

I understand a stern truth because I’m a straight shooter but please don’t be nasty. I’m already beating myself up over it.