Should we be parents? Will that be fair to our kids?

Question

My husband and I want kids. We've been thinking of planning on 3 total, but we're not sure yet. 
The thing is, I have ASPD, which means on the sociopathic spectrum. I think I'll be an okay mom, but I don't think I'll be able to form emotional attachments to my children. The only person I've ever formed a true emotional attachment to is my husband. It's difficult for me to feel emotions or display affection and it's usually forced. Again, it's much easier with my husband, but with everyone else I just can't. 
I do want kids, but I'm not entirely sure why. It's especially difficult for me to imagine loving something that isn't even conceived yet, which is why I'm questioning our decision to have kids. Maybe once they're born I'll have an attachment, but there's no way to guarantee it. 
My husband will be an amazing father. He's goofy, outgoing, loves kids, and already helps take care of our godchildren when we watch them. He feels that whatever I lack in emotional health, he'll be able to fill. He says I'll be a good mom. He thinks it will be fine if I fake my affection just like I usually do with people and they'll never find out, but I'm not sure if that's fair. I do believe I'll be a good mother aside from the obvious lack of emotional capabilities, but I don't want to accidentally fuck our kids up, you know? After all, it's not like I DON'T want kids. I like them and I think it will be nice to have some mini-hims running around. I'm around kids often and it's always been enjoyable and it's actually a bonus that I don't really get upset or stressed. We are very well off financially as well, so that's a non-issue. 
(And no, having ASPD doesn't make anyone dangerous or a monster like people seem to think. For most, it's just lack of empathy and emotional attachment. We do not have any desires to harm others or anything like that.) 
-Obviously this isn't going to be the final decision, but I want an outside perspective. I'm unable to discuss this issue with anyone in my life because my ASPD needs to remain a secret.

Answer

All I want to say is that so much makes sense about a lot of the comments and posts ive seen you make now.

Answer

It’s nice you are thinking of kids who don’t exist but think about yourself first. How fair is it to you to fake your emotions for a SOLID 18+ years without a break? Then you can ask yourself if it’s fair is it to the child. It honestly sounds like it would be exhausting.

Answer

Personally, no, I wouldn’t. Dealing with my kid appropriately requires an intense amount of empathy, patience and emotional attunement. 
At the end of the day, you do you.

Answer

Personally I wouldn’t. My daughter is barely 2 and in order to raise emotionally healthy children you need to be able to connect with their emotions, understand them, have patience, and guide them in emotionally healthy ways. It’s very hard and would be even harder if you can’t understand why they’re having certain emotions cause you can’t personally connect with them. You can always try and hope you get lucky and will love your kids but then there’s always the chance of you having to fake it. Children will know and that is emotionally scarring and exhausting on both ends.

Answer

I don't see a problem with it. As long as you are under close doctor's supervision while pregnant and the months following your pregnancy.  The hormones in your system can seriously do a number on you, you mind and your body.  
As far as living the children, you may or may not have that hard connection,  but you'll love them in your own way. You'll care for them and be there when they need you. As they get older you can explain why you might not be showing the same kind of love as their father. 
I believe it can all work out for you. If the doctors give you the go ahead, I'd say do what you and your husband want.

Answer

Its hard to say without knowing. 
I'd list the pros and cons and let yourself really think on it. 
On one hand you run the risk of not making any emotional attachment to them and I know for a relative of mine they had a really hard time growing up because their mom just didn't bond with them. To the point they considered never having kids because of the emotional toll it had on her. Then again, they may not feel that way if they genuinely understand which means you need to be welcome in sharing with your children. Consider the chances of PPD and how that could effect you. Think about EVERYTHING and be open with your husband. There is nothing wrong with you though so if that's what you think and that's why you're on the fence, don't think that.

Answer

As long as you got all your medical and you're doing your doctor's appointments taking the correct pills you'll be fine . just prepared that you're going to have to probably deal with them having the same thing.

Answer

I personally wouldn't. My sister is the same way and has kids. Her children can tell the difference in the way their father treats them and how she treats them. 
Of course they love her but you can tell it effects them some. My 15 year old niece asked me one time why her and her mom didn't have a normal relationship and it broke my heart. 
Also as someone else pointed out it wouldn't be fair to you to constantly have to fake an attachment/emotions. It's not the same as pretending to be sad at a funeral for a couple hours, it's trying to figure out and understand them for the  rest of your life.

Answer

If you can love your husband, you will love your children.  It’s like a kick you in the gut, punch you in the face, what the hell just happened, kind of love.

Should we be parents? Will that be fair to our kids?

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