Should We Go or Stay Home?

My daughter is almost 4 and doesn’t know her bio dad or his family. A court ordered recently that her biological father isn’t allowed to be around her. She is special needs and due to safety concerns the court felt that it was the best choice, dad didn’t even try to fight for her. The judge was horrified by our case he said.

Her biological father has a son older than my daughter, from a previous relationship. He does have rights to his son, although he hasn’t seen him in over 2 years. However he is does not support the children knowing each other. The sons mom and I have worked very hard over the past 2 years to establish a relationship with the children and keep it healthy as possible. Mom is in the process of court to protect son, but where she lives in her state, they have different laws than my state does. Our children see each other 2 times a month. Not court ordered, just an agreed visitation mom and I made ourselves. Mom called me Friday and told me that brothers T-ball game is Monday (today), we thought it would be nice to surprise the kids by taking sister to the game. She’s wanted to go to one and brothers wanted her to go, just the distance and timing isn’t good half the time. But I’m off today and have the time!

Here’s the dilemma: Although dad doesn’t see his son, he does keep contact with his mom. She invites him to everything and he refuses to go. She invited him to Monday’s game and he said no, that’s why she asked us to go because she knew he wouldn’t be there. Well dad backtracked and made a comment about how he might go and she asked him to go to Thursdays instead, because sister is coming down. He became very upset that sister was coming first and that he had to miss the game due to her (he literally has missed his life for 2 years 🙄). She told him that the bond between the children comes first because they see each other and that he hasn’t been involved, due to that the son wants sister there and that this is something we’ve been trying to achieve for while. Dad hasn’t responded. There are sheriff’s and policemen at all game, and the baseballs fields are huge so I could always find distance, but I don’t want to put my child in harms way. Sons mom said she spoke to the sports complex center and they told her they could put him on the no admission list so if he tries to come in, they would turn him away (you have to pay to get in) but I don’t want to do that to him, he has the right to be there whether we like it or not. I just wouldn’t bring my child. Now other mom is upset that I’m debating canceling our plans and doing it another time, especially since we don’t even know if he’ll be coming or not, because he never has before and every-time he says he will he doesn’t.

Also him and his mom lives 2.5 hours from dad and 1.5 hours from me.