So it has been 9 months since we started ttc our 3rd. My nightmare has come true. I don't understand why it has been so long and I still haven't been able to get pregnant. I have tried so many things. I've tried the pre-seed, and I've been taking prenatal vitamins..we've tried the sperm meets egg thing...I've tried taking dhea and maca root before ovulation. I've been trying to lose weight and eat healthier...and still nothing. 😔

I am so mad at myself and just so mad in general..a friend of mine has endometriosis and pcos and it took her 9 months to conceive. She had a blighted ovum during that time and had to do a d&c and got pregnant 7 months later. My doctor says I do not have either. I have regular cycles and everything. I got pregnant in October 1 month after we started ttc and I didn't even know it but I had a chemical in November. While I was in the middle of stressing over seeing that second line get lighter and lighter every day..my friend announces to everyone in November that she is pregnant. I was so mad. I wish I could have been happy for her but I just couldn't. I felt like my pregnancy was stolen and given to her. I hate seeing pictures and posts of anything to do with her pregnancy and we really haven't spent much time together since she got pregnant. Not to mention she is having a girl and i have wanted a girl my whole life but I have two beautiful boys that I am very lucky to have..but you know it's just that feeling of "damn why can't that be me?" I feel like she was purposely trying to throw it right in my face. I have recently noticed she is the type of person who thinks she is better and can do better so I can totally see this being true though.. I hate feeling this way and I know I'm such a terrible friend.

It has now been 9 months since we started ttc and about 7-8 months since the chemical ended. My tests this morning at 9dpo were very negative and I just don't understand. I am heartbroken. I feel like it's just not going to happen or it's just going to take way longer than I wanted. I wanted my kids to be close in age but now my second is about to be 2 in July. We started a couple months after he turned 1. I also wanted to have our last before I turned 30 and I will be 30 this December. All my doctor tells me is that my body has done it twice and to stop stressing because it will happen. But it's just not normal that it is taking so long. I have started progesterone supplements that I will be trying for 2 months to see if that will help and if not then idk..it obviously hasn't helped this month. 😔 I know I'm not out until af shows but I can already feel the af symptoms coming on.

If you have read this far thanks for taking the time to listen to my venting. And good luck to you if you are ttc! Please pray for me idk how much more I can take.