Should I be more understanding?

My sons father and I have been on a bumpy road. I feel like he judges me as a mother because I’m not training our 2 year old how to be potty trained or I’m getting up right away to lower my toddlers iPad, but I’ve been so exhausted I work full time and just started school. We don’t even live together so I don’t have his help all the time. My grandparents help but they’re pretty old to help me potty train my toddler. I have no idea where to start. Sometimes I feel insecure that my sons father doesn’t want to be with me because we break up over stupid arguments. And I tell him what I want but he wants things done differently. He doesn’t want us to live together and what’s is to take things super slow and work on our relocation but I need his help. I can’t have him at my grandparents. He still lives at his moms and his moms house is so cramped for me to stay there. I think it’s so ridiculous that I have to just hang out with him to work on us when I have our toddler everyday. I don’t know what to do. We’ve been together about 4 years is taking things slow even an option at this point? I’ve been trying to get us to get our own place and he just doesn’t think we’re ready for that.