Need advice on 4 year relationship
So I’m not coming here for judgment because I know all the bads/goods of my situation. I just want advice. I’ve been with my children’s father since 2017. I was 17 when I met him, & already had a child. 5 months after I met him I got pregnant with my son. It was good and all until after I gave birth he developed a drug habit. When I say drug I mean like one of the worst drugs. He got arrested and I bonded him out trying to be a “rider”. He was sober for some months and I could tell that he was gradually picking his drug habit back up. I broke up with him last year in January. Well January to October of 2020 he ran around getting high and we had slight communication. In November we decided to try and patch things up. He was still on drugs but was working to not be. I can say that to my knowledge he has been sober since December of 2020.
All that being said. I am pregnant again by this man. I have been getting a weird feeling recently that he may be getting high again. I have no proof like I have many times in the past. I talked to my sister about it and she says that I’m paranoid because of his past drug use. It’s getting to the point that I’m so paranoid I constantly think about leaving him even though I’m pregnant with another one of this children. My family tells me I’m crazy and it’s just my nerves because he began getting high after the birth of our first child. I just feel like I don’t want to go through the whole process again and even if he’s not getting high I feel like I can’t trust him so there’s really no relationship there. I just need any kind of opinion on if I’m tripping or if my emotions are valid or I guess anything…. Once again please no unnecessary judgment.