I just want to cry

So my weight has always gone up and down since I turned 18. And now I'm back to my heaviest I've ever been after having my now almost 2 year old. It's been difficult losing the weight. I also found out that I have severely low vitamin d. And I guess that also causes weight gain and difficulty to lose it. So I've been taking the medicine and then I have to take vitamins. I've been eating healthy, working out and I can't lose weight. I'm always bloated and have bad inflammation but all my other blood tests are normal. I don't want any of my friends or family to see how big I've gotten. I look in the mirror on how I look in clothes that aren't loose and I just feel so sad. I'm not sure what else is going but any advice because it's getting so difficult. I'm still trying but it's been months and I know I won't see a huge difference but I just don't feel right. And I don't starve myself or do fad diets. I eat in a calorie deficit and avoid foods that cause bloating. I don't overly workout. I weight train and do cardio. So I'm just so discouraged. It isn't just the weight or the fat but the bloating is horrible.