Heartache

Has anyone ever experienced their husband coming out to you, after you got married? How the hell do you cope? The overwhelming feeling of not being enough and straight up being worthless is so overwhelming right now.

We had quite the talk last night. He’s so unsure of his sexuality right now because he is addicted to watching Trans-porn. And is ashamed to admit he wants anal play.

He said last night that he made the vow to be in my life and marry me, and that he’s not going anywhere. But to drop this, after marriage?

We talked sexuality before we got married. He knows every dirty secret about me. I’ve struggled. Ive experimented years ago. I straight up asked him if he’s ever questioned him sexuality, and he told me never. Last night?! Ever since he was young. Ive checked in so frequently making sure that we are having enough sex, and that he is filled because his drive is so much higher than mine. He’s always said yes.

Last night he said we never have had enough.

I am so done with the lies. Like, how do I trust him? I can’t open the relationship. He didn’t ask for it. I asked if he wanted to experiment/open and he vehemently said no. How the hell do I believe him. Is there any coming back from this?