Breast-pumping Supply Venting

My son is 8wks now. We have been unable to get him to latch since the 1st day in the hospital. It doesn't help that I am very endowed. Unfortunately he had to take a bottle and formula due to glucose levels dropping and I had forgotten my pump. We went home after 4 days. I produced very well the 1st 2 weeks home. Then it slowly began to taper down. We began to supplement with formula.

I take supplements, eat as best as I can. Unfortunately, I am unable to pump on a regular and consistent schedule. I stayed home for 6 weeks. My supply barely kept up with 50% supplemented formula with every feeding. Now I have been back to work since the 7th and can only take one break in the middle of the day to pump. By the end of my work day, I am hurting and at the timeline threshold to pump. But I have to go pick up my son, get him home and settled (which is not easy, since he just wants to be held), make dinner for my family and try to squeeze a pumping session in there.

The last 4 days, the most I have been able to get in a session is 2oz between both breasts.

Today I made the plan to pump every 3 hours, but was unable to. Was lucky to pump after 5 hours! Then another 7hrs before I was able to pump for a fraction of the usual time because he just wouldn't stop fussing. By the time I got him calmed down (held, rocking, and singing) I was in tears myself.

I have been battling the decision to stop feeding breastmilk since before returning to work. I know eventually I will have to, especially with work, but it breaks my heart. A mother's milk is the best for her baby, and I want to give my son the best. I was forced to stop with my daughter because I was a single mom, barely making ends meat, and my job did not allow me time to pump (didn't even get a lunch break in an 8-9hr shift). Now I have a husband that helps as best as he can (new father), a 12 y/o daughter that tries to help, and a job that is understanding. But, I still can't get/keep my milk supply up enough. I just need some assurance that it is ok to stop, or support to continue to try to provide him even a fraction of breastmilk. Every time I think of giving up, I begin to cry 😭 💔. I know that I must care for my own physical and mental health just as much as I need to care for his. Other than the benefits it provides him, continuing to pump is beginning to negatively effecting my health at this point. 💔😭😩