I am bitter and jealous and angry

I'm angry that the choice to have children has been taken away from me.

I'm jealous of the people who can try for a while and there you go, pregnant.

I'm jealous of the people who can afford treatment no matter how much it costs.

I'm bitter that out of all the women I know, there are all of five couples who don't have children.

I'm bitter having seen the countless pregnancy announcements over the years.

I'm angry that I can't tell if I even want kids anymore or not.

I'm jealous of the pregnant couples, jealous of this very precious and life changing experience they get to have, meanwhile I am sitting here crippled with pain on the first day of my period.