Should we be together?….

Question

I will make this quick. I had my son (7m) when I was 18 with my ex partner. I spent my teens and 20s being a mum. I never wanted children at all so it was hard to adapt. 
I’m in a new relationship. We have been together 3 years and he wants kids, I told him I didn’t and he stayed anyway. I felt bad and so we compromised. I told him I would have a child but I wouldn’t exceed an 8 year age gap between my son and any other child (I told him this 2 years ago) 
We planned to have one and started TTC then he decided he wasn’t ready. So we stopped. pregnancy lasts 9/10 months and my son is almost 7 so as you can imagine. Our deadline is close! 
I told him this and he said I don’t understand why the gap matters and I explained to him how it mattered to me. I wanted a life after children but before I retire so wouldn’t wait a long time. 
He now wants to wait and I explained to him I would not budge on this and not to “hope I change my mind” because I won’t. 
So do you think our relationship stands a chance. I’m really trying to accommodate his wishes but it’s getting very difficult.

Answer

There's nothing wrong with him not being ready and there's absolutely nothing wrong with you not wanting more children.  To be honest,  I'm not even sure it's a good idea to compromise on having one child.  I think as hard as it might be,  you're not suited for each other. There's so much potential for resentment and it seems unavoidable

Answer

I don't think kids are really something you can compromise on. You'll have to make another huge adjustment to something you don't really want to begin with

Answer

You guys are not compatible so putting an expiration date on getting pregnant seems a bit ridiculous 
You guys shouldn’t be compromising on something so huge.

Answer

Nah, don't do something you don't want to do.

Answer

You can’t force him to be ready just like he can’t force you to change your gap rule. I totally understand your rule btw!! He seems to be pushing your limits maybe he’s waiting on purpose so the kids have big gaps? Idk but if he isn’t ready now he probably won’t just suddenly be ready in a couple of months

Answer

Yeah I wouldn't want a huge gap either, they aren't as close growing up as well, some anyways just because they are on different stages of life. I think he needs to make up his mind.

Answer

No. If you're not on thr same page with kids, then its time to love on and stop wasting eachothers time. He deserves children (or child) and you do NOT need to have more if YOU don't want to. So better to end things sooner than later since you already know where you stand. You already comprised and are certain you won't budge on your age gap,  so if he definitely wants kids, even later, then its time to let big go so he can find a partner who can give him what he wants. Hard truth. But it's the right thing to do. Resentment making one person give up their dream or desire only will make it worse later.

Answer

If you’re on a forum half full of women who tear each other apart asking if you should be with someone.... wtf you doing? No.

Should we be together?….

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