Today I had planned to start on a long homework as soon as I got home from work. My bf called me asking if I was going to be busy and if I can pass by for 30 min to hang out. I was down to spare 30 min to hang out with him so I went over.

As soon as I got to his house, he was showering so I had to wait ten min for him to finish which was fine at first. He got out, greeted me and went to his computer area where his brother was playing online chess and I followed him and sat down on his lap. I pulled out my phone and started watching tiktoks and trying to engage in convo with my bf by showing him the vids and asking what he thought be he ignored and one time spoke over me to give his brother advice about what move to make on the chess game. So I said “uh, why am I even here” to get his attention and get him to change the way he was acting because I already had spent a third of the time waiting on him showering and now I’m spending the rest of the time getting rudely ignored? Then his brother started making fun of me and as he put it in his own words “provoking” me. He told me to shut up Bc I always spend time with my boyfriend and I don’t really but the previous day I had spent a few hours there (though his brother is the one that actually spends everyday with my bf so). My bf’s brother and I have the type of relationship where we’re mean to each other to play around but today I obviously wasn’t in the mood and I was communicating that it doesn’t make sense for me to be there just be ignored and made fun of. But his brother kept on so I got up, got my things and left. Before getting up my bf said he would watch the TikTok and that he wouldn’t do it but he had already said that before and that’s when he had spoken over me so I was pissed and didn’t care if he’d be willing to watch anything now Bc he already pissed me off by being rude.

When I expressed my anger and wanting to leave the way his face looked was as if I’m the one causing problems for nothing. I told him that was a useless way to spend my 30 min doing nothing but waiting, getting ignored, and getting made fun of.

He told me that he always hangs out with me the way I like to hang out (laying in bed talking to each other/watching a movie together/watching tiktoks together/ doing something TOGETHER) and that we never hang out the way he likes to hang out (just having me present in his area while he games/ watches videos of his things he likes while he’s wearing headphones and not sharing the experience with me. He just likes me being around, talking and doing things together is not something he needs while we’re hanging out in order to be happy). I like that way of hanging out when we’re both busy. For example, if we’re both doing hw I prefer we’re next to each other just for the presence factor but when we’re both free I like to interact idk.

So today I was pissed Bc I put 30 min of my day aside (willingly ofc) to hang out with him but that didn’t feel like hanging out to me. It was useless and unenjoyable the whole time. So I need to know if I’m some way in the wrong or if I overreacted. Bc he seems to think the way I reacted was wrong. I didn’t yell, I didn’t curse him out, I just didn’t stand for feeling like I was being disrespected. But if someone has a dif perspective then pls enlighten me in a productive way Bc I’m starting to feel like I’m nuts. Maybe I am tho idk lol

TLDR: my bf asked me to hang out today while I was busy, I said I could spare 30 min. Went over to his place and did nothing but wait for him to finish showering, get ignored when I spoke to him, and get made fun of by his brother. My bf says he’s just happy with my presence and he’s ok with that type of hanging out but I prefer actually interacting. I got up and left, I kissed him goodbye but I made sure to express that I felt disrespected by him and his brother. He seems to think I overreacted. Any constructive criticism for me or interesting perspectives please?