I have teen daughters, a 2 year old, and am 8 months pregnant.

I have always been the “martyr mom.” Aka I serve everyone else before me and if something is gone because someone hogged it all, oh well. If I get left with cold water because they all spent 30 minutes+ in the shower, oh well. I run myself ragged cleaning up after everyone while they relax in the evening watching tv or playing games. I get to bed around 11 after doing dishes, folding laundry, and getting anything else done that needs to be done. Then I’m up with the 2 year old at 5 am while everyone else sleeps until noon (my partner is currently unemployed). I feed and water all THEIR pets (I have none of my own!) and clean up after them. My partner will make plans with me but then “forget” because he’s busy night fishing or at the gym.

I’ve hit my limit lately. I told them all that shit was going to change because I’m done. I literally can’t take anymore. I’m tired of putting everyone first with absolutely zero consideration from any of them in return. I’m tired of being the invisible robot in my own house. I’ve developed an extreme depression over it now which I’ve carefully hidden but really want to go drive off a cliff 😣

So they all have chores now. And no one will do anything. I won’t allow them to eat until pets are fed and watered. I stopped doing all their laundry. I stopped taking dishes and cans and etc from their desks. I unplug the router for hours at a time until they clean up after themselves. I take a shower while my son naps regardless of who needs to get in the bathroom because they can shower ANYTIME in the morning while I only have about 45 minutes of the whole day without the 2 year old glued to me and have started using that as my time to perform basic hygienic care…but it’s also when everyone else is waking up and wants the bathroom (we only have one).

Literally everyone in my house hates me now. My partner hangs out with anyone, old friends he doesn’t usually talk to, aunt, cousins, sisters, etc to avoid coming home. My teens have accused me of treating them like garbage and straight out called me “a bitch now” one day when I had the router unplugged.

Because my partner is unemployed and I run a small business from home (only profit around $250/month because I don’t have time to commit with everything I do for the household plus demand is low since the beginning of covid 😫) I can’t just leave and take a break from them. I’m seriously ready to get in the car with the 2 year old and drive anywhere for at least a week.

I’m worried that if I do that, I’ll never go home 😳😔

I don’t really need advice. I just needed to vent, and warn other mamas not to become the martyr mom. After 18 years, you have nothing left.