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Question

I’m not the type to go sleep around my body count is 1 and I’m 24🙃
Last time I was talking to a friend of mine and I was explaining how it sucked because I haven’t dated in a while and I’m a hopelessly romantic, I love love literally but I can never get a boyfriend, my last one was in 2017 well anyways we started talking about my last time having sex and last time dating someone and this is how our conversation went:
Me: “Man it sucks because I want a boyfriend but everyone that text me literally just wanna have sex”
Them: “Well guys now and days just wanna have sex and you have to be more open to that.”
Me: “yeah but I’m just not comfortable sleeping around like that” 
Then: “well you have to start, because if not then you’ll never find a bf” 
& honestly to me that’s a bunch of bullshit but at the same time idk because when I try and talk to a guy it’s just wanting to have sex and I don’t want that but sometimes I wonder “if I do have sex huh maybe it’ll be different” because that’s how they met their person, they had sex the first time and now they’re dating for already almost 5/6 months…. and if that’s not the case then what’s wrong with me?

Answer

She's wrong that you have to start hooking up with guys to get a boyfriend. Not a chance she can speak for the entire male population.

Answer

From one young person to another, I think your friend is right when she’s says a lot of guys just want to hook up. Especially in our age group, they don’t want the stress and commitment relationships come with in their prime haha. But, “a lot” is not all. There are so many guys looking for relationships or to really get to know someone. So I totally disagree with you friend saying that you have to be open to hooking up if you want a boyfriend. I think that’s really ignorant advice and not true. You do whatever you’re comfortable with and the right person will respect you. I just read something the other day on a men’s forum. Lots of guys were saying sexless relationships or relationships where they had to wait too long (usually 6 months to a year) to have sex were off the table and a dealbreaker. But most guys said that waiting a bit of time to have sex with the right person was worth it to them. Just keep doing you and go at your own pace. Your person will come💘

Answer

Most guys do just want a hookup but you don’t have to be more open to it in order to get a boyfriend. If a guy is genuinely interested in you then he’ll wait

Answer

Other than sleeping with me, my husband wasn't a 'sex first, relationship later' kind of guy and MANY of his friends were the same way. You'll find someone that respects your choices and can even have the same exact idea of how a relationship should go. You don't have to do anything you don't want to to get a boyfriend. If you do, that's not the right kind of person for you so you get a really bad start to that relationship anyways. You just keep doing you and eventually the right kind of guy will cross paths with you. It truly is a quality over quantity kind of deal

Answer

I mean personally I think if it’s the right person it won’t matter wether or not you do or don’t, they’ll love and choose you regardless.

Answer

5/6 months is not a long time lol I would not be comparing myself to her relationship. There are men out there that will respect your boundaries. It may take a lot of dating in order to find him, but you will eventually. You just have to put in the file and effort.

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