Bf stuff

Sometimes my bf can be a little feminine. Sometimes what he says or his mannerisms or like girly. But then he’ll flip a switch and mostly be masculine. I kinda get turned off when he’s girly though. It’s just when he cares too much about his appearance. He’s more high maintenance than myself sometimes. I like that he takes care of himself but sometimes I just like when he’s got the attitude of “eh whatever I don’t care”.

Then he’s not like a dude that when you ask “does this look good?” And they’re always like “oh yeah it’s great” and you could be wear zebra pattern on top of plaid. He’s brutally like picking apart things it feels. Like the other night he told me to dress fancy. I try on outfits and he just stared and didn’t say anything when I asked if he liked it. It just really hurt me because I’m already self conscious outside of sweatshirts lol. I was thinking he’d be like “holy shit omg you look so pretty /hot/ cute” like ANYTHING

It didn’t help that same night he made me split dinner (a dinner I traveled a distance to him for on a random weekday where he asked me out. That’s why I care. Other than that I don’t mind paying for anything)

We talked like allll about him. He did realize it before I did saying “I’m sorry let’s talk about u”. I was so not use to talking about my shit I was like ummm fuck idek.

Plus he’s money and success driven. Which is good. I need to figure out why he wants it. Is it to show off and look good for others? Or to feel secure and do it for yourself and future family etc.

I have family who are the money and attention hungry rich unhappy assholes. I’d rather be like my other family. Super humble and give to others privately, and yes nice cars and house and vacations but it’s done in good taste.

I’m just not about living for other ppl and their opinions. Idk. Just some conversations points I need to have with him.

It broke my heart that night. He asked if I was gonna leave him after our vacation together cuz that’s happened to him in the past. He just was like a little kid and he’d been worrying for months. I do love him. I just hope we have the same thoughts and ideals ig