How to not be so passive?

Question

My fiancé has to decide about a job. One across the country and super interesting and some local and not as interesting. 
He told me today that he felt like I was being passive about the situation. While I don’t want to move, I can see he loves the job so I wouldn’t ever tell him no. We’d be moving 3 years tops so I feel I could do it. He’s asked me my thoughts and I tell him my thoughts between all the offers. I don’t know how that’s me being passive. I know moving far away is a lot and requires my input but I can’t pick a job for him.

Answer

I think he wants to hear how you feel about moving just be honest and open

Answer

Just tell him yes or no. 🤷‍♀️

Answer

Sounds like he’s projecting his indecisiveness on you.
You clearly stated, even here, you’d rather not move far but could handle it for 3 years.  What’s his input? What’s he leaning towards?
Maybe you two could write out a pros and cons list, take some time to really consider and decide together.

Answer

I agree I think he’s projecting his indecisiveness onto you, but he probably needs you to be direct with how you feel. Has he considered all the info for moving across the country; is the pay worth the cost of living or will you all struggle, has he considered the cost of actually moving and has he found an affordable place for you all to live? At the end of the day he has to pick which is best for him long term too, if he stays local/moves across the country is that what’s best 10+ years from now. If he’s got all the facts I’d let him know which you’d prefer and why, but tell him it’s ultimately his decision to make and not to resent or blame you if he feels he made the wrong decision in the future.

Answer

You guys need to evaluate long term financial goals and overall quality of life as it pertains to local family and friends. Also where r u guys in the marriage process not sure I’d move without being married

How to not be so passive?

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