PTSD?

I am honestly sick of posting on here about fritzi’s walking :( She was walking great, if not a little cautiously but improving daily! She spiked a very high fever, which lasted 3 days about 2 weeks ago. We went to the ER and they suspected something viral and sent us home.

She then stopped walking independently again. Still walking assisted but looked dizzy and frustrated.

We called her doctor and he was concerned. He told us to go to the ER again, so that’s what we did yesterday.

We spent the day in the hospital. Tons of tests done, words being thrown around. Tremor in her left hand, post-viral syndrome, favours her right side, neurology referral. X-rays of her hips, bloodwork, eye exams.

Fritzi was in the NICU when she was born and hospitalized numerous times until she was around 12 weeks. I didn’t think these feelings would come back up so quickly. I am so sad for her. It was only 10 hours in hospital yesterday and I’m as exhausted as I was when she was in there for weeks as a newborn. I don’t want her to go through this again.

How do I get these dark thoughts to go away? I keep convincing myself I wasn’t paying enough attention or that it’s only going to get worse from here.