Lost and confused
Im 23, I used to work as an accounting clerk earning 17 dollars the hour.. I found out I was pregnant March 2020. Had my son in November 2020 lost my job due to prioritizing my son in Feb 2021. I been unemployed since getting rejection email and call one after another. My fiancé also 23 has been working and even picked up an extra day from work to make ends meet. I have been using my savings to pay my expenses as in car payment, car insurance, life insurance, hygiene products and my sons needs. My savings are at the verge or coming to an end, but I still haven’t had a successful interview. Fiancé has been said that I’m just being lazy and not putting myself out there enough. I got to the point where I have no motivation for anything else just for my son. I feel myself being constantly tiered, unmotivated, in a horrible mood towards everybody besides my son. This has resulted into arguments with my fiancé due to “you stay home all day, you can’t be tiered”.
But I have tried to explain to him that I haven’t been myself since I found out I was pregnant. And when I was getting back to my self I lost my job due to prioritizing my 2 month old. I love my son and would do anything for him. And fiancé says I’m using him as an excuse and that I call him a burden for not doing anything in the house. Because I tell him he has had a bad day when he cries and isn’t his bubbly self. Or when he just wants to be held all day. He doesn’t understand how it is to be your sons comfort and being with him 24/7. Since he has just left me do everything that requires my son by myself since he was born.. my son is truly my priority I have preferred for him to be fed changed and happy before myself and anybody or anything else. This past week my father in law has said that I’m not myself, and I told him I wasn’t that I lost myself a long time ago..
there was no instructions to how to care for a newborn and continue working anywhere nor how to transition to having a career a full time job and well earned money, to getting rejection emails and calls. I have tried to explain this to my fiancé but it only results into a huge argument of me being lazy..
Im so confused and lost.