Is divorce worth it?

My husband and I have been together 12 years and married for 9. We have a toddler and an infant together. He’s always had some tempter problems, but we have been very happy together most of the time until recently. He has become very verbally/emotionally abusive since his dad died a few months ago. He yells, calls me names, blames me for everything, throws things, tries to keep my parents from visiting (he’s never liked them), etc. I’m constantly anxious that I will get yelled at if I say or do something wrong.

We have been doing marriage counseling for a couple months now and he’s looking into grief counseling. During the sessions he will apologize, say all the right things, and act like a dog with his tail between his legs. But outside of therapy, he hasn’t changed and doesn’t show remorse for the way he treats me.

Sometimes I think about how nice it would be to find someone who treats me with love. I know he’s still dealing with grief, but I’m tired of being his emotional punching bag. I would love for him to change, but I don’t think he will and I feel like we need to look at separating and possibly divorcing. The problem is that I feel stuck. We live in a rural area and I haven’t had luck finding rentals anywhere within an hour from my job. My family lives far away, but he could go stay with his mom; however, he refuses to leave the house. I’m also torn about how a divorce will impact our children, but I don’t think an unhappy marriage is healthy for them either. I’m so unsure about what to do! 😭