Married Couples

How long does it take to achieve a goal with your spouse?

For example, we have been trying to move to the big city and it is now year 3 of arguing with my husband about us moving? 1. He doesn't know what industry/field he want to get into, where he'd want to live, etc. Year 2 (last year) Found area I wanted to live in, field I'm going into and realtor to show us apartments. He says, he wants to live with his uncle in the suburbs just outside of big city. So he wants to live near his uncle yet has not called his uncle or asked when he sees said uncle in person since he never calls/check in. Year 3 and he still hasn't made the call or done anything.

Before that it was fertility. It took 3 years for him to quit smoking. I read docs will not do fertility treatment while smoking plus quitting helps, so I felt stuck. We started because he was lying before he actually quit for real later that year.

*I was waiting for a baby before going to law school. Fertility decreases as u get older so I want to do it now while my eggs are young. 5 years in and I would have already graduated.

Visiting family overseas where I'm from. We made a plan starting January to save. I cut back on groceries, unnecessary spending plus he was getting commission checks on top of his salary. Every month 3 months I check in, there is some excuse to as why he couldn't save a dollar. The next year I started working and save my own money. My cousin died Oct 2nd before I could visit for Christmas. He also magically found money for tix, got time off and came. I'm still cut up that I didn't get to see him and will forever miss that opportunity.

Our very foundation is on the same pattern so idk why bother. Talked about married and having kids right away and a timeline. Timeline comes and I'm excited for a proposal and started planning the wedding right away. So the times comes and no ring and I'm like what's happening. So now we are talking wedding related decisions and he isn't solid. So I ask, do you want to get married and he says yes. No action to back it up. He hasn't been saving for the ring like I thought. After the month passed that we should have gotten married, I moved out and started dating someone else. I wasn't over him and after a few months called him for dinner and he asked me to break up with the other guy and move back in and he will get everything ready for the wedding.

Our apartment. Day 1, we talked about not staying here for more than 5 years and owing our own home. We zillow every day and he would talk to a realtor that's related to his boss. We talked about it and he said when he got a promotion in a year or two and whenever I'm working we'll start saving on the house. I started working and contributing the house and no savings were made. Always some excuse.. once I got promotion to where I could save, I was the only one saving a part of my check towards our home and meeting the 5 year plan. The money went to fertility as I needed 2 years in the same field/job to qualify for the home so I figured I could save it back. Fertility treatments ended up taking a few tries so we gave up on the house. That's the only goal we would have accomplished and it would have been by my damn self.

So at this point, goals that are supposed to be achieved as a couple is NOT gonna happen unless I do it BY MYSELF. But I am not superman and I need help. And what I am asking from him isn't above his capabilities he is just lazy and literally do not want to try at all. He just has to call his uncle and have his uncle secure us a a place to stay. It's not rocket science or solving world hunger. 5 years in and it's no difference. Maybe, it's me. I told him every year I have to nag to get something done and if more thing come up, I'm leaving and here I am nagging about how we have to renew the lease October and we aren't ready to move. He still hasn't called since last year.

I guesses the rant is too long at this point: stay or go?