Boyfriend rant/vent

I just need to vent. My boyfriend and I have been together since April of 2019 in April of 2020 we got pregnant with our son. Prior to that we had gotten pregnant and lost it but we had discussed that we would be out of his family home by the time the baby turned 1. Now fast forward our son is almost 1 and we are nowhere close to moving out.

We’ve had plenty of issues in our relationship and neither one of us is perfect.

I broke up with him at the very beginning of our relationship because I was conflicted in my feelings for him. Figured out my feelings and we got back together and things were good for a while. In November of 2019 I met his family and shortly after I moved in because we found out we were pregnant. Since I moved in we have had issues with his drinking, staying out all night long at friends houses, smoking weed, etc. we discussed the fact that I didn’t want those issues to continue once the baby came. He stopped drinking and going out for a few months and I thought everything would be fine. Fast forward and baby is here 6 weeks early. He starts drinking and going out and smoking till all hours. He convinced me to quit my job once my maternity leave was over because he made 2x as much as I did and he could support our little family and since I wasn’t ready to go back I did. Well now I’m realizing that was the dumbest decision I could’ve ever made. I’ve raised my son practically by myself with some help from his mom. I provide what my son needs. I pay for the diapers, clothes, wipes, etc. the only thing his dad buys is 2-3 cans of formula a month. I pay all of my bills with whatever I had saved from when I was working plus my tax return. I’ve recently had to start working again to be able to pay for my bills so I started driving for Shipt. All I ask from him is that he watches the baby when he gets home from work so I can go out and do deliveries for a few hours after he gets home and he won’t even do that. I have to take the baby with me on deliveries because he can’t watch his son for more than an hour. I can’t leave him I have no where to go no family to turn to. He made me cut off my friends so I don’t have anyone but him. I’m going insane and I feel bad for my son because I’m always frustrated and it has nothing to do with him and my boyfriend doesn’t understand that I need help. Everyday after work he comes home and eats a taco of whatever his aunt made for lunch and then goes outside to smoke. Then he comes in lays on the bed for a bit and then showers. Then he’s back outside for another smoke break. If he comes inside he’ll play with our son for a little bit and then goes to eat again. If he doesn’t come inside he leave to go to a friends house. He always complains the room is messy but doesn’t understand he never gives me an opportunity to clean. It’s a miracle when the bed is made and the toys are picked up before he gets home and then he always finds something to complain about concerning the room. It’s either ‘you didn’t dust’ ‘laundry’s not done’ ‘the shoes aren’t in their place’. I’m literally hanging on by a thread at this point and I seriously don’t know what to do. Everyday we get into some type of fight over me not treating him how he wants to be treated or I don’t respect him and how he’s waiting for me to be a better girlfriend and then he’ll start helping with our son. I just sit here like that’s not how it works. There’s been so many nights lately where I just stay up and cry because the baby won’t sleep and I’m trying to keep him from waking up everyone in the house and I don’t ever have help from him at night even on weekends when he doesn’t work. He always says that he’ll wake up with him in the mornings on weekends but he never does because he doesn’t sleep at night or he’s at a friends house helping them do something when the baby wakes up. I’m literally so exhausted lately that I dont even want to take care of my son. Obviously I do because he’s my son and he needs me but I just wish I had someone I could just give him to and say here I just need a few hours to myself or to just do the things I need to at home.