Feeling like a failure
So a few days ago- my husband opened up to me about something that happened to him as a child. He was raped and molested by his step grandfather at the age of 3. He wasn’t sure that it happened until he reconnected with his uncle after about 20 years & his uncle came clean about the same thing happening. When his uncle mentioned it, my husband instantly got flash blacks of it happening to him. It was like a trigger of a situation he completely blocked out of his mind. I also have a history of rape & sexual abuse as a child. Mine happened from the ages 6-13. Ever since he has told me about it, he’s been so angry and miserable. We’ve been fighting a lot since he told me. I’m not sure if he is mad that I didn’t drop to my knees and sympathize with him or what. I understand fully that what happened was traumatic. As the same exact things happened to me at a young age. I am still trying to come to terms of my own abuse & have gotten help for it (therapy) but I feel like I’m a failure for not being able to help him more. I’ve listened, I held him while he cried, I’ve stayed up with him, got him out of the house to help get his mind off of everything but he’s still so angry and taking that anger out on me. What can I do to help him? He says he has so much on his mind but refuses to really go in depth about what’s in his head and won’t see a therapist. What more can I do?
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