Was it “disrespectful”?

Yesterday my fiancé and I went to pick up my little sister from school. My mom just had surgery& my dad works so he’s not available in the afternoons to get her.

Now, my fiancé has a son from a previous relationship and he picks him up fridays. But his ex told him he wouldn’t get him this weekend since they were exposed to Covid & needed to quarantine. She text him while we were driving to pick up my sister that they ended up testing negative so he can go pick their son up at 3. She lives literally five minutes away from my sisters school, so we just thought we’d go pick up their son then go get my sister since we were already on our way.

We get there to pick up his son, my fiancé parks on the street and gets down to get him. As soon as his ex saw me in the passenger seat of the car she loses her shit. She starts yelling, cursing at me, threatening me, yelling at him, saying their son isn’t going with him since I’m in the car. She’s yelling how it’s disrespectful to bring me, and yells at me that I’m not allowed in her house (even though I’m not in her house, I’m in the car), flips me off and yells fuck you. Literally all I’m doing is sitting in the passenger seat of the car. I stayed silent, I didn’t even acknowledge her because I didn’t want to make the situation worse or stoop to her level. Her mom came out saying it was disrespectful that I was there (she lives with her parents still) and they told him they were going to call my fiancé’s parents to let them know how disrespectful their son was being. He’s 26, he’s not a little kid to being calling his parents on him but whatever. After that she refused to let their son come with us so we just left.

As we were driving to pick up my sister, his exes older sister called him and told him how it was disrespectful for me to be there, how he shouldn’t have done that to his ex, said that he needed to shape up and said that if he didn’t she’d “handle him” because she wasn’t someone he wanted to mess with.

Am I wrong, or how was me being in the passenger seat of the car not saying anything disrespectful? I didn’t get down, I didn’t talk smack to her, I didn’t look at her, I just stayed in our car on the street. We live together, just had a baby together, and we’ve been together for two years. So it’s not like I’m some random girl he’s bringing around his son. I’ve NEVER had a conversation with his ex or disrespected her in any way. Yet all she does is talk badly about me and my kids. She called our daughter ugly, and said “fuck them kids” with our kids in the car. I don’t see how I’m disrespectful when she’s the one acting that way. She’s a grown woman, she’s 26. Why is she acting like a little kid?

And to be clear I’ve never gone with him before when he goes to pick up his son. I only went this time because I was already with him and we were in the area. I have a son of my own from a previous relationship and if my ex showed up with his girlfriend to pick up our son I’d never in a million years act that way. On the contrary I’d introduce myself to her and be polite so I could get to know the person that’s going to be around my kid. But maybe I’m wrong. Was it disrespectful?