He cheated, now I need advice

First off I would just like to say I’m here for advice no judgement please because I’m still with him and I’m trying to make it work but I need help getting through this.

Me and my husband just got married a little over a month ago, and about two weeks ago he started acting different more distant and cold he wouldn’t look at me or touch me and we are a very affectionate and sexual couple so I knew something was wrong he kept saying I do what to do and I said about what and he said about us he said we just argued to much. We have bene together over 5 years and try for 3 years so I was very confused yes we can argue a lot but nothing more to me then a normal couple but he has childhood trauma with arguing so it bothers him a lot. I find out he’s talking to this local girl who is older we are 23 and 21 and she has a 6 year old and my husband would not be the step dad kind he just always talked about having his own child I mean he would not harm a child or anything it would just bother him to be with someone who has a kid with another man. And she was not like me really she parties and drinks and all that so I couldn’t understand why he thought it would work with them.

Well we fought I cried and cried for days and we tried to work it out he cried asked for forgiveness but things never got better really I get home from work and we argue and he leaves he ends up staying at his moms and does not come back the next night he said he was done he couldn’t do it anymore, so I was extremely upset by that that he could turn his back on me like that after five years together so I told him to come get his stuff and he did within the next day or two.

I was kind of in the mail at that point my friends tried to run me everywhere to ease my pain but I couldn’t eat I couldn’t sleep I was constantly crying every day, on Wednesday he called me and wanted to try to work it out, but he did not have the same idea on how we would like it out so we’ll all eat again of course and he said even when we try to work out we all year so he was going to Go for real so we didn’t really talk over the next two days and I am in contact with his mom tonight very close with his family informed me that they go to a race thing together and he does not come home and he has nowhere else to stay so I knew he had to be with this girl

He convince him to combover and talk and he can’t even Look at me and I can’t understand why but then I knew he must have done something he regretted it and he almost cried at the side of me saying he did something he shouldn’t have done. He ended up staying with this car for two nights at a hotel and I did not have sex but he did other sexual things to me and Lucy is super important and he knows that that I don’t just do it with anybody and it is not to be given away to just anyone unless you care about them. And I’m not going to lie I did have a conversation with a man but I thought the about the whole thing and I could not go on for very long and when I did feel bad to him I think it got him to finally understand how hurt I have been because hearing that news hurt him very much as well. So now we are trying to work it out because we want to be together and we are so sick of putting each other but I’m having a really hard time dealing with it because 

He is my longest relationship I love this man with every fiber in sight me I have never been touched by another man the way he has touched me I have never been hurt as bad as he has hurt me even being together with depression hits me out of nowhere so I’m asking anyone in the situation how did they deal with this because I’m having a really hard time even though I love him and I’m glad we’re back together but it’s hard to put something like that behind us