Needing reassurance

Hi friends.

I’m feeling really sad and guilty and I am struggling to overcome these feelings.

I had a miscarriage in Jan 2020. I had an ectopic and removal of my tube in may 2021.

I got a positive pregnancy test Wednesday. My period was due today, Friday. I tested Bc I had weird spotting and realized it just randomly stopped.

I’m considered high risk so I already had blood work. Hcg 124 progesterone 37.

I just want to be excited but I’m so so so scared. I just expect it to end badly. I won’t even look up my due date or download a baby app.

How did others get over this? I know this will either work out or not. I just want to be excited. Every time I got excited in the past it failed 😞.