Is it okay to make a purchase without hubby’s knowledge?

Question

He’s at work and won’t be home for awhile but there’s a sale I really want to buy something from.
I’d spend $45 dollars, never in our marriage have I ordered makeup without telling him, if I do it it’ll be the first, he’d def say no…
I bring in a small amount of money, only $145 a month.  The account is a joint account.
My mom was a victim of financial abuse, so maybe I took some of those values with me.  I just don’t want him to feel like I’ll regularly spend money behind his back.

Accepted Answer

So you’re a victim of financial abuse… huh?

Answer

You following the same path you mom did.

Answer

I don’t make any money because I’m a stay at home mom and if my husband found out I Held back from buying something for myself that’s only 45$ he’d call me crazy and tell me it’s OUR money.

Answer

There’s a whole lot more to unbox with this situation. You need to seek some help. This is not a normal financial relationship. ❤️

Answer

I’ve never asked to purchase something, and my husband would never expect that. Seems controlling.

Answer

It doesn't seem most the commenters actually read your post. 
.I think it's fine. Just tell him once he gets home. It's not that big of a deal if you aren't going shopping all the time for unneeded items.  
It's normal to sometimes buy things you want.

Answer

My husband and I have a joint account. He used to have a job and I was a SAHM but now that he is in grad school, he is no longer working and I work from home. 
We usually always let the other person know if we are planning on spending money. It’s not able the other one being in control, it’s a respect thing. He gives me a heads up if he’s going to get a haircut, but since it’s like $30 I don’t care. If there is something I want to purchase, I will make him aware of it. (The exception is gifts. We just make the other aware that we are making a gift purchase and to not check the account to see where the gift was purchased.) 
However, if we want something that is more expensive, we will absolutely fully discuss it first. It may be “my” money since I’m working, but we don’t lord finances over each other. No matter who earns the paycheck it’s “our” money.

Answer

So, do you not have your own bank account? Has there not been a discussion of what portion of your (shared) money can be used for luxury or unnecessary purchases? Does he spend money without asking?

Answer

I think it’s fine to buy things occasionally for your self. I think in the future you guys need to sit down and discuss your budget and goals and if there’s a limit to spend without discussing a purchase (ie anything under $75 is fair game without saying something first). I purchase things without asking my husband all the time; but I keep it reasonable and don’t do it all the time. I don’t hide my purchases, I just say “hey by the way, I ordered/bought this; just so you know when you see it on the account”.

Answer

Depends on what the two of you have agreed upon with financial decisions.

Is it okay to make a purchase without hubby’s knowledge?

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