Head is on overdrive!

Hi all long post!!

Me and my partner have been together 5 years we have a beautiful 2 year old little girl she is our world!

Our relationship doesnt feel quite right at the moment and i carnt pin point really what it is and i am feeling as though it is me that is the problem! 😞

So since having our little miracle its been up and down she is our high most certainly but i carnt help but feel sort of pushed a side.... I know she is our number 1 priority but i just feel as though our relationship is just forgotten about i try my best with planning date nights and buying him his favorite treats and cooking him good home cooked food and trying my best as a working mum to keep on top of house chores ect i work 4 days and have 1 extra day off than him. So hes just got a new job and he said before starting about needing space to study and to work and hes had this he is currently working from home with covid ect... I never mither him while hes working i may go uo now and then give him a kiss and take his dinner up and ask if all ok ect but other than that i know hes working hard and hes busy. So the other day he says im going to my grandparents to work i need a change of scenery im tired of being at home... So i automatically thought why does he not want to be around us when hes not working we dont pester him we do our own thing... He then tells me his new job is too stressful and he doubting himself and has insecurities about it which i reasure him and tell him hes amazing and that he needs to do what ever makes him happy to not think of finances as we are ok but his happiness is more than money and ive sat there for hours upon hours complementing him because he is such a hard working man which has a magnificent brain and i can not praise him enough! So he says hes been offered his old job bad which he now realises his really good at but he feels stupid if he leaves this job hes been at 3 months again i have sat down and spoke to him and told him he is amazing and again he needs to do whats best for him as we are ok financially. Since he started this new job hes not been himself far from it. I work and i have a challenging job physically and mentally i care for autistic adults who display challenging behaviour so some days i am a grog! Hes not been near me for a cuddle a kiss hardly even spoken much unless its about our daughter for the past 3 weeks i get people get stressed and i do too but i try not to let that affect my home life! He seems very distant and cold at the moment i asked last night if we was ok he says yes i ask are you ok he says yes i then open up and tell him that i feel abit neglected there is no cuddles not sex no kisses no hows your day babe are you ok... Theres no help with little one i am worried about him... I try to tell him how i am feeling he is snappy he tells me i wouldnt know what hard work is i only work 4 days a week (because we carnt afford the nursery fees!) not because i dont want to earn to provide! He then says im irritating, annoying and alwaya nagging him and why can i not support him and be there for him.... I have been there hours upton hour until early hours reasuring him and making him feel how he should but yet i carnt help but feel like his punch bag at the moment! Working being a mummy of a strong minded little 2 yr old little girl running a house and beinf emotionally there for him its alot on me and somtimes i just need some support and reasurance too but again i only work 4 days and that i am adding more stress on him! What do i do!? Like litrally i can not open up to him i have tried i have tried being nice ive tried everything and i dont honestly know what else i can do and i am worried that its going to continue and this relationship is going to just fuzz out or atleast i feel like it already has on his part i feel so down and like he doesnt want me or love me the way he is being so cold... Im not crying for attention and i support him no more than what i can already which is 100 % i told him i feel like we don't even have a friendship never mind a realtionship at the moment because we dont even talk i try and i get ine word answers im not giving up i love the bones off him but i just want him back to the man i met 5 years ago 😭