Confused

Alright….. my husband and I have been married a year now. The only time we have sex is when he wants it. It’s very rare that we do it when I want. Today he came home from work set up his game and started playing. With me thinkin I was going to be sexy and all pulled his shorts down to stead of getting hard he got softer. So I said okay then rolled over and acted like nothing happened. He finally got off the game started cuddling with me and then the magic stick was trynna do it thing. Aht aht. Funny how you have no problem working with it now an hr later when I just straight ass embarrassed myself to please you. Ig we both goin without sex and making ourselves look stupid huh. I tried to talk to him about it but he started dozing off. So I said screw it guess imma get up and start my day huh. I’m sorry I just needed to vent bc it bothered me. Bad. How can you sit there and be turned off by a bj during a freaking Xbox game. You know how many men would have loved that????? What is wrong with me…..