Is my mom emotionally abusive?

Ever since I could remember, I’ve always internally felt like a burden to my mother. As a child, I’d do child like things such as eat food with my hands and play with my food. my siblings would all do the same. But, I was the only one who’d get yelled at. My mom always made me feel like my other siblings were angels compared to me. My younger sister began modelling and my mom thought of her as the “star child”. My mom always made me feel like I wasn’t as good as my sister. she would always acknowledge her winnings and dismiss my own. She never comments negatively on my sister and has nothing bad to say about her but as soon as the spot light was on me, she’d pin point every little insecurity of mine, big or small. We are constantly bickering and it’s so incredibly draining. I have bpd on top of all of this and it’s so hard to deal with my mental health and her at the same time. She’s always complaining that I don’t brush my hair or that I’m not wearing a bra but I just wish she could just appreciate me as I am like she does with my siblings. When I tried to have a peaceful conversation about how I feel, she completely invalidated my feelings and told me she was “too tried to listen.” There was also a situation where I confided in her through revealing my childhood trauma and she made me feel like it never happened the way I thought like telling me “it was probably an accident”. I’m struggling and was hoping I could receive any form of advice on this app. please let me know. Thank you.