Transgender kids

Hi there!

I've got maybe a controversial question.

At what point do you consider your child transgender and not just "in a phase"?

For example, I've always wanted to be a boy, because I thought life would be easier if I were a boy. My parents always just wanted a boy, and they had me so that may have been a thing, it's something between the lines that kids really do pick up on. I also had a brother later and he was definitely treated better than I was.

But I'm also a very proud woman and am glad I am not a guy or ended up being transgender. (not because something is wrong with being transgender, I feel it's just not who I am)

But now here's the thing, my stepson had from a very young age wanted to be a girl, talked about chopping his willy off, and we all thought it was a phase and it eventually did kind of pass.

But lately he's been playing with our neighbors daughter and he's always in her princess and fairy and ballerina clothes. He does call it dressing up.

He's also interested in makeup and hair and nail polish, but wouldn't wear it out, just at the house.

We're quite openminded about this and don't have an issue with any of it.

However it does get me wondering if he is actually transgender and now hiding it from us.

But also he's in thesame position I was, where his parents don't make a secret of him being their last attempt to have a daughter (I've actually heard his mom literally say this in their presence) so he may actually feel thesame way I did.. Pressured to be "as good as" the child they actually did want, so a girl.

What are your thoughts?

-I haven't spoken to him about it, and I don't want to unless his parents would be on board of him actually wanting to transition if that's the case.

-My husband feels it's an issue to tackle only if it would come up.

@Jess

Idk saying he wants his dick chopped off is kind of drastic and not just "liking girl things" in my opinion, so that's why I'm posting. If he would only like stuff that is considered "girl stuff" I'd not wonder, it's that he was very explicit at some point about being a girl, and now stopped (because maybe he felt like we were all dismissing that because of "it's a phase")

This went on for a couple of years between the ages of 4 and 6, he is now 9.