I don’t know how too feel??¿¿

Okay ladies so I feel as if I may be pregnant…but I’m scared like hell because I’ve had 2 pregnancies this year that both resulted in miscarriage 🥺😭 & I just don’t know if my heart will be able to take getting attached too another baby…for he or she not too be born happy & healthy in my arms…so far I’ve been showing quite a few symptoms I felt last time urgent feeling too pee, sore boobs, cravings I’ve been eating sweets like ice cream all week 😩 & change in my sleep pattern. And on top of that on October 28th I went too the bathroom and their was very light reddish/brown spotting in my panties. I’m suppose too get my period today October 29th just wondering should I test today or wait too test? Any encouraging words or advice is appreciated.