Help me…

Do y’all see something! Please? I’m 31, I’ve been trying for 3 years. 3 miscarriages. I took a test tonight since I’m late. Normally my periods are on time or “early” by a day or two. Never late unless I’m pregnant. I’ve been feeling off, tired, sick, and just crappy, vivid dreams, and body changes and so SO much mucus which isn’t normal for me. So I went to the OBGYN yesterday to get blood work on my thyroid to see if something if off since I was late last month. 7 days and 3 positives. Well, I ended up having a bad period. I’ve dropped 35 pounds in the past year. I was 168 now I’m 133.4 pounds. I’ve had a stomach bug for the past week and just crappy feeling. Anyways I took a test tonight and less than a minute later BAM a vfl. I think I’m going insane since I want it so bad. Idk. I gave up, I quit trying. My husband had back surgery in September and he hasn’t been on his testosterone shot. So I’ve given up with trying cause it’s never been in the cards for me. I have a son that was from TW: r*pe. He turns 9 in legit 14 days. So we said we were done trying cause of the age gap. I’m 31. Don’t get me wrong I want a baby so bad but it really did a number on my mental health, my body, my marriage and everything in between. I think I want it so bad I am seeing it, or I’m just insane. Idk. But I see a line and so does my husband. We just don’t wanna get our hopes up. (My husband is ok with my son, not having children of his own, he knows where my son came from, he gave my son his last name and was there since he was 11 months old) my MIL was my rock, and we lost her a year ago from cancer and it’s been a lot emotionally. And we wanted this so badly while she was alive and now that she is here here anymore… I’m terrified. My parents are drug addicts and my life is upside down. Soooo idk. But my body is different and I can tell. I just feel off. So please. Tell me I’m just stressed and crazy. Because I’m scared if this is real. I’m terrified. I’m beyond scared. Y’all I feel alone and I’m scared.